


Where We Ended Up

by Probably_Not_Batman



Series: The Gods of the New Universe [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Biology, Anxiety, Earth C, F/F, F/M, Family, Flashbacks, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mothergrubs, Multi, One Night Stands, Post-Game, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Troll Biology, Troll Pregnancy, eridan having kids, trolls having kids
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:11:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 41,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Probably_Not_Batman/pseuds/Probably_Not_Batman
Summary: Eridan never meant to come back. He was fine where he ended up, fine with never talking to them again. It had been five years after all.Sollux never meant to find him. It's just where he ended up. And after five years, he finds out that this world holds more than a few surprises.They never were supposed to find each other, to have anything together. But now they have more than either of them bargained for and that's just where they ended up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for taking a look at this! This is my first second person pov fic, so I'm a little nervous but I hope you enjoy! The lore for this fic may be expanded in drabbles and side stories, so if you have any questions let me know in the comments!  
> This is also my first time formatting pesterlogs so wish me luck!

A young troll sits at a computer desk. He’s not as young as he once was, nearing 13 sweeps, or (as this planet preferred it) 25 years, but compared to his originally short lifespan and the wide stretch of immortality that comes with godhood he is still young. Though he as been on this planet for seven years already, he still isn’t used to it. Maybe he never will be.

What will the name of this troll be?

**> Enter name.**

Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR. You are one of the beings classified as a GOD OF THE NEW UNIVERSE though you do not care much about the position. You have been saddled with the description as the GOD OF CHOICES AND CROSSROADS because the universe is apparently not done fucking with you yet, even putting your title as THE ALTERNATOR. You still have a fondness for computers and still know ALL OF THE CODES. You can hear your bees flitting around behind you, only adding to your HEADACHE. Maybe it’s from LACK OF SLEEP or from the VISION TWOFOLD you have once again been cursed with.

You stare at your computer screen, teeth grit against the pain the light of the it brings, and growl at the sudden lack of motivation to code that has struck you. You can’t code, can’t game, can’t sleep.

So, what will you do?

> **Sollux: Remember.**

No. Remembering only makes your headache worse when there is so much you wish you could forget.

> **Sollux: Remember anyway.**

You can clearly remember the game, the ascension, and everything in between, though it had been over three sweeps-

Seven years.

Cursing under your breath, you remind yourself for the thousandth time that this planet uses a weird mix of human and troll vocabulary, but timekeeping is strictly human. Weeks, months, years.

Feferi would probably blame your tendency to forget those things on your refusal to socialize beyond what was absolutely necessary.

You remember dying, more than once, and fighting your way through armies of imps towards a goal that had been immediately ripped from you. You remembered the hopelessness of the meteor, watching as your group broke down and ripped itself apart. You remembered bright flashes and sudden darkness, no longer able to watch but listen all while knowing the voice you wanted to hear the most was gone. You’d accepted the darkness, at the very least appreciating the lack of voices echoing against your skull. But even that couldn’t remain the same, your existence becoming something split and torn and utterly confusing. As much as you enjoy things in twos, having two sets of memories is a little much.

Part of you remembers treading carefully through the dreambubbles, Aradia at your side with a gentle hand on your arm and a cheerful voice in your ears. The voices of the dead and dreaming had surrounded you, though thankfully the one’s in your own mind stayed properly quiet. You remember taking cautious steps forward, your hand a loose fist holding Aradia’s Godtier tunic as you wavered between clinging for dear life as not to get lost and not letting your claws pierce the magical pajamas. Your other hand had held a smooth cane, tapping the ground in front of you though you trusted Aradia to warn you is you were about to tumble into a pit (again) or trip over a rock. The alive-again troll had given it to you, assuring you that she had wrapped it in stripes of red and blue, on the off chance she wasn’t around or the bubbles separated you. (It had happened twice by that point and both times had seen you crashing into a few trees before sitting your happy little ass down to wait for her. You hadn’t minded being blind for the most part, but it had a tendency to get you into irritating situations.)

You’d flipped up an eyepatch to scratch at a scarred cheekbone, pausing when a prickle crawled up your spine like the sharp legs of a webbug. Your pusher picked up speed, your breath coming in a sharp hiss as the prickle turned to a sharp burning that worked its fangs deep into your chest. The fire spread quickly, searing pain charring you from the inside out as you helplessly clawed at your chest. Hands gripped your wrists, pulling claws that were just slightly colored with mustard blood from your skin and drawing a panicked snarl that rattled in your thin chest. Your nerves were painted bright red with pain, your cane dropping as you fought to free yourself, desperate to find the wound you were sure was there.

Why wasn’t she letting you go? Why wasn’t she helping?

“AA?” you chirped, too panicked to care that you sounded like a grub. A long, painful keen slipped between your crooked fangs, the tears welling behind the colorful fabric of your eyepatches making your voice thick in your throat. The hands on your wrists turned to arms that wrapped around you, squeezing you tightly. “Aradia, pleathe,” you whimpered, fearing digging itself deeper into you with every passing second.

“It’s okay, Sollux,” she had assured you, her warm lips pressing to your cheek. How the fuck were you okay? Couldn’t she see that you were burning alive? You thrashed in her grip, barely paying attention to her quiet shooshing. “You’re going to be okay, I promise!”

Her arms disappeared, but before your searching hands could find her and beg for help a sharp hook of pain yanked you upward by your very soul. It almost felt like a particularly insistent dreambubble, but that didn’t comfort you at all.

The building pain finally exploded into a bright burst of numbness and confusion and memories that weren’t exactly yours dug themselves into your brain. A half of you that had been missing for ages was suddenly back, bearing its own story and its own memories.

That part of your memories was ( _is_ ) scattered, remembered in bits and puzzles that only fit together if you searched for the pieces. That you still remembered the dreambubbles, but only briefly before you were dragged from yourself.

**> Sollux: Remember the other you**

You remember your mind being suddenly broken, memories and thoughts that were _not_ yours mixing into your own and fitting themselves among the shattered pieces. A familiar voice came with them, one that brought back memories of pain and rage so intense that the pieces of your mind almost burst apart entirely. You’d struggled and fought, trying to force your mind back together but no longer able to untangle his thoughts from your own. The rage wasn’t only yours either, the screeching in your shared mind a mixed cacophony of shrieks and fighting as two halves of a shared existence tried to tear each other apart.

You’d clashed and splintered, but instead of shattering, something in your souls had latched together and fixed itself. It wasn’t possible to tell who hated who, the thoughts merging until your voices were almost completely indiscernible. You hated him and yourself, hated each other and yourselves and somehow that web of rage was what held them together.

You remember the rage cooling and calming, memories that weren’t your own fading your anger into annoyed understanding. You can’t quite recall the exact memories anymore, though sometimes the feelings leftover from them still manage to overwhelm you during night terrors you can never remember. Regret, anger, loneliness, panic, shame. You wonder which of your memories haunt him.

It’s funny how being in someone’s head puts things in perspective. You don’t forgive him, can’t forget what happened, but somehow you had been able to reach an understanding and move past it. You had still fought, still gotten headaches and still loathed the being you were stuck as, but somehow it had been bearable. Somehow you were content, your sarcastic natures turning from each other to the painfully cheerful human that somehow greeted you with a wide smile, a large wave, and more than once with questions about relationships. You remember leaving that planet, floating through the medium with nothing but thoughts and time and somehow that had been okay.

And then there had been a tug. And a thought.

_Did you feel that?_

Your voices melded, a simultaneous question and answer to the other half of your being.

The tug had happened again, a deep pull on both of you that turned into a dragging, tearing force that ripped apart the bond holding you together. In the blink of an eye, the memories you had grown so accustomed to vanished and only left the barest impression of what they had been.

Arms threw themselves out, hands grasping in a desperate attempt to fix the sudden, _achingly_ painful loneliness.

You remember fingers gripping your own, but they slipped away with a scream you sometimes heard echoing in your dreams.

“ _SOLLUX!_ ”

Memories had snapped into place like rubber bands, the disorientation of the wave of new memories making you grip your head, screaming and screaming as your body lit into a new pain, the recombined halves of your soul setting off the final reaction as, for the final time in your screwed-up life

Sollux

Captor

Died.

**> Sollux: Stop remembering and be Past Sollux**

You are now Past Sollux and you are VERY DEAD.

**> Past Sollux: Ascend**

The first breath is the worst as the life shocks itself back into you. You sit up and freeze, your claws digging into the rough stone beneath you. You blink, part of you shocked at the light before you, at being able to see at all. It hurts, your eyes screwing almost completely closed as your head screams at you. Pain throbs through your entire being, less searing and more of a dull soreness but pain nonetheless, your brain poking at the unfamiliar sight and your soul reaching for something that had been carved away.

“Shoallux!”

The voice shocks you into opening your eyes again, the light stabbing at your headache and fully illuminating the figures in front of you. The first pounces and hugs you tightly, her hair very nearly getting in your mouth in the process. You freeze, wondering for a brief moment what memory could have created a bubble you could see in but when she pulls back the eyes shining behind her goggles aren’t the blank white of death. They are bright, deep golden sclera surrounding the rich pink of her filled in irises.

She looks older too, taller and filled out, her horns several inches longer than you remember and her fins larger as well, her hair spilling almost to her ankles. You slowly stand, glancing at yourself and realizing that you were somehow taller, though that only make your boniness more prominent.

“FF…” you speak cautiously, as though she will disappear as soon as you acknowledge she exists. Running your split tongue over your fangs, you pause to look at her outfit. The hood is down, her skirt about as long as her hair with the only real color being the green symbol displayed proudly on her chest. It’s probably the dullest thing you’ve ever seen her in and you think you know exactly what it is. “You’re alive?” you finally let yourself say.

“And Godtier!” she chirps at you with a  wide grin, a bit of movement suddenly bringing your attention to the glittery pink wings fluttering behind her. You are more than a little shocked, too much so to complain when you are wrapped up in another crushing hug.

Aradia grins at you, her bright red outfit almost making your headache worse. Though she’d described it a million times in the bubbles, it is still nothing like you pictured. Instead of dwelling on it, you take the chance to bury your face in her shoulder for a moment and let the jarring experience of sight disappear for a moment as your mind catches up to you. Aradia was warm where Feferi was cold, a happy trill ringing in her chest as she knocks her horns against yours affectionately. You keep your eyes closed as Feferi joins the hug and follows suit.

“It’s about time you woke up!” AA says cheerfully and a little too loudly into your ear. Your head feels like it’s trying to crush itself, but you’re long since used to that. There’s a weird feeling swirling in your stomach, your bloodpusher thrumming against your ribs as you’re given just enough quiet to put a few pieces together.

Feferi is alive. So is Aradia. So…are you. Feferi is Godtier. So is Aradia. So…

You open your eyes just enough to look down at your outfit. Dark green robes almost blend into the stone you’re still leaning against, the symbol of Doom almost matching the symbol on the stone slab. Instead the one on the slab seemed to be a mix of the Doom symbol and your own symbol, set into the stone with a rich gold.

Grimacing, you reach for your sylladex and pray it isn’t empty. Thankfully, the universe decided to do you a favor because your normal outfit is in the first slot. Switching to the more comfortable jeans and shirt, look over your shoulder. Poking from your shoulder blades are two sets of golden wings, seeming to slip through the material without damaging it. You frown and with a bit of concentration they disappear. You can fly perfectly well without them anyway.

“Lucky,” Feferi teases, wrapping her arms around one of yours. “I need to get some new clothes ASAP.”

You raise an eyebrow. “You don’t have your old outfit?”

She blinks and laughs into her palm. “Whale, for one that skirt is way out of style on this planet. Plus, even though I got older in the dreambubbles, I didn’t really age much as a ghost. I think everyone is showing up how they’re supposed to be when they become Gods.”

“Godth?” Most of the information is passing right over your head, but you figure you’ll catch up later if you need to, so you just look around the massive room you’re in. It looks less like a room and more like a temple, actually.

The stone slab behind you is the same dark green as your robes, the glittering gold symbol glinting up at you in the sunlight that was streaming in. Based on the way the others are acting, you assume that it’s not dangerous. The floor around you is a smooth marble, a mosaic spreading from the bed. On one side there is a white hand made of tiny tiles, a red gem shimmering in its palm. On the other side is a black hand, the gem in its palm a glittering blue. You frown at it, your brow furrowing.

“The mosaic of The Alternator,” Aradia pipes up behind you, taking your free hand.

“The Alternator?” You ask, confused.

“That’s you!” Feferi grins. “It’s your title?”

You are more than a little confused. Adults had titles, yes, but those were earned. You’re nine sweeps but you’ve done nothing to earn a title. You’d spent most of the game half-dead.

“How the fuck did I get a title?” you ask before you can stop yourself.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Aradia says, poking your side with an unnervingly wide grin. “This is our reward for winning the game. Even if we weren’t in the final battle, we still were part of the timeline that led to this planet’s creation. All of the players from all of the involved sessions got rewarded. Or, well, they should be. If this is anything to go by.”

A large book appears in her hands, the wide cover made of an aged leather. The design of the cover matched the layout of the temple that you can see, though the title emblazoned across the top makes you roll your eyes.

 _An Asshole’s Guide to the Gods of the Universe_.

She flips open to a page (page twenty-two, you notice with both delight and a deep sigh) and shows you the picture of a tall figure. They are dressed in your robes, your horns tall on their head. The face is featureless aside from the red and blue of your eyes, their hands held out to their sides with palms facing up. _The Alternator_ is written across the top of the page. Below the drawing is more writing. _Mage of Doom. God of Choices and Crossroads_. _Sollux Captor_.

The next couple pages are a series of short stories, retellings of things from the game you took part in, though it referred to everyone by their titles. Most of them you can guess. _The Empress_ is obviously Feferi, even without reading the rest of the story. _The Ferryman_ is Aradia, that you pull from context clues. If _The Mediator_ isn’t KK, you’ll eat your shoe. Your eyes hover over _The Strategist_ for a  long moment. The stories aren’t in detail, never mentioning the Game and only referring to the events as taking place in “the world of the Gods” but the stories are familiar even with the changes. You feel an ache in your chest as you recognize who it is.

Instead of acknowledging it, you swallow and close the book in her hands, looking at Feferi.

“The Empreth?”

She blushes and grins at you, her hands going to her hips. “I’m the God of Rulers, shelly. Aradia’s is baiter, I think.”

You glance at her, her red lips stretched into a wide smile that shows off her fangs. “Well, I already was doing my job long before this planet. I’m the God of Death, or well more specifically the Afterlife! But that kind of stuff doesn’t matter right now! What matter’s is that we’re alive and we won and-“ She throws her arms around you again. “Everyone’s together. We’ve been appearing for the past couple of days and almost all of us are here already!”

You look around the temple again, finally taking everything in. It has high ceilings, held up by thick columns that leave enough open to see the trees and fields surrounding it, though you can see the silhouette of a city in the distance. The arched ceiling has a large circle cut out of it, golden beams of sunlight streaming through. It glitters off a small pool of water in the center of the room, the bottom of which has bright green tiles forming the shape of a gate. The water for it flows through several small lines carved into the marble floor that weave between the stone slabs that you’re sure serve the same purpose as Quest Beds did in the game. The lines lead to the back of the temple, where water streams down an open cliff face that makes up a makeshift back wall. Closest to the pool is a circle of four beds, another circle of four only a little further out. A circle of twelve sits beyond that, the circle you’re in, and a final circle of twelve lies outside of that. Two sit outside of these circles, one nearest to the back wall and one closest to the entrance. By their colors, you would guess time and space. The time bed, closest to the entrance, is the only one not intact, the stone rough and broken.

All of the slabs are colored like aspects, each of them having a unique mosaic surrounding them.

Excess water from the waterfall rushes in thicker rivers close to the edges of the room, spilling over the edge beside the stairs of the entrance into pools below.

“We won,” you whisper, the pessimistic part of you grumbling that this is some sort of trick, a bubble or dream or something because it’s far too good to be true. “Everyone’th coming back?”

Aradia nods. “All of the Dancestor’s are listed as Gods and the humans are already here!”

You remember the dreambubbles, the people you met there. They would be here?

As you try to wrap your head around it, to believe it could be true, something makes you jolt as tears suddenly stream down your cheeks. Sparks burst up your horns, static making your hair stand on end as Feferi and Aradia jump back to avoid being shocked.

Someone is screaming, your hands covering your face as you suck in a breath at the noise echoing in your skull. The other voices are back, though you hadn’t noticed them before, but they actually shut up for once when you tell them too.

The scream isn’t that easy to silence. It rattles your very bones, tearing at your soul as Aradia’s warm hands cup your face.

“Sollux! What’s wrong?”

Why was she asking? Why weren’t they reacting? Couldn’t they hear it?

The voice is terrifyingly familiar, just screaming and screaming. You know that sort of scream, the scream that tears your throat apart, but you just keep screaming until your voice is ripped from you. The scream of someone dying.

You curl in on yourself, claws digging into your hairline until, as suddenly as it began, the screaming stopped. Either they had died or-

You lift your head, hot tears falling onto your open palms as golden light bursts across the room. The image of pale wings unfurling shimmers in the air for a moment before disappearing and leaving a figure gasping on the pale stone.

Hands lead you out of the temple, Aradia mumbling something about Vision Twofold and Feferi refusing to look at the troll who’d just appeared.

Shock is the only thing that keeps you from speaking, the voices whispering in the back of your skull until you once again tell them to shut up.

You peer behind you, staring at the familiar jagged horns and colored hair. You watch as he sits up, his eyes landing on you. His expression is frightened and uncertain, panic pinning his fins to the sides of his face as his eyes.

As he disappears from view, you realize something. When you woke up you had friends, you had warmth and explanations and help to process this.

The last thing you see of him is him wrapping his arms around thin knees as it hits you deep in the chest that he is utterly alone.

Something aches in your chest, but you turn your head and pretend you don’t know what it is.

**> Past Sollux: Be Current Sollux**

You can’t be Current Sollux because you haven’t reached the present yet.

**> Past Sollux: Fast forward this shit**

That you can do.

Neither of these things change much over the first few months of new life. You get used to being a God, figuring out pretty fast that most people know you by your robes and if you mind your own business and don’t draw attention to yourself through stupid stunts (*cough*JOHN*cough*) most people don’t even realize you’re a God.

Of course, keeping a low profile is hard once FF discovers the horror that is Snapchat. You learned pretty fast to duck out of the room if she started taking pictures.

You meet up with the others often, at least once a month, just to keep everyone together. As amazing as this planet can be, you all know you have to stick together. No one else went through the Game, no one else could understand.

It’s at these meetings that you watch him. He always shows up, sneaking in the door when he thinks no one will notice and hiding against a back corner with his fangs worrying the edge of plastic cup. He keeps his head low, his shoulders hunched, his fins always low. He looks small, scared, and alone.

Something about it strikes you as wrong, though you can never properly explain it to even yourself.

It’s at the third meeting when you talk to him first, approaching with cautious steps. He stares at you, taking a step back with a flinch and an expression that is both guarded and vulnerable in a way that almost makes you run. It’s halfway through the conversation before you realize that he’d afraid of you. He’s afraid of everyone here.

Your pusher aches, but you ignore it as keep talking to him. It’s months before he calms down around you, letting his fins relax and his lips twitch into faint smiles that you don’t think you’ve seen on him before.

At a year you hear his laugh for the first time as Dave supremely fucks up some ‘parkour’ move and ends up bringing the chandelier of whoever’s hive it is they’re in this time down with him. The sound makes you pause and glance at him, his palm pressed over his mouth as his shoulders shake slightly. The movement makes you think he’s crying, but you’re close enough to hear the muffled snickers and see the light in his eyes as he tries to swallow his amusement.

The ache in your chest is getting worse.

Feferi asks why you talk to him. So does Karkat. So does Aradia.

You can’t answer them, shrugging and muttering something about entertainment that sounds like bullshit even to you.

You tell yourself it’s a Sprite thing, that it only makes sense. You were a Sprite for so much long than the others, it’s only natural that your bond would be stronger. But…though Feferi and Nepeta talk, though Equius and that strange AI are something resembling friends, you doubt either of them feel the aching void that sits in your chest.

You can’t make sense of it.

You keep ignoring it.

Talking to him makes it better but you ignore that too.

Eridan somehow understands, though you never talk about it. You bicker out of familiarity, though none of your barbs hold any weight. You tease and talk and something fragile builds itself between you that neither of you risk acknowledging.

You rarely spoke outside of meetups, his trollian handle never seeming to be online, but something flipped and before you knew it the two of you spent the meetups curled in the quietest rooms talking about everything and nothing. What you had was fragile and warm, something only you understood.

You didn’t realize quite how easy it would be to break it.

It had been almost two years since you’d woken on this planet, the snow outside of their current meetup keeping almost everyone inside. Almost.

You were warm enough to handle the cold, though even you were wrapped in layers. Eridan had it worse, you thought, his fins covered in muffs and his gills covered with three layers of scarves. Gloves sit on the table next to him, his fingers kept warm against the sides of his mug, his eyes studying the flakes of white with intense fascination.

You tease him about finally reaching his wriggling day. Tens sweeps as of yesterday. You almost wish you had gotten him something. You don’t say that last part.

He rolls his eyes and takes a drink. It isn’t long before he declares it too cold and stands up. You follow him inside, finishing your drink and setting it on the counter when you pass it.

You almost bump into him when he freezes in the living room, frowning at him before you realize Kanaya is directly in front of him. He wheezes out an apology as all of the comfort he has around you disappears and he vanishes up the stairs.

Her eyes follow him curiously, though you find yourself glad that you can’t find any hostility in them. You offer her a shrug when they land on you, following him.

He’s curled in a plush chair in a guest respiteblock, his head in his knees. You can hear his breathing from the doorway and see the way his hands are pressed to his stomach.

He told you he could still feel it sometimes, though there’s no scar. You feel a twinge in your pusher as you sit on a cloud of psionics beside him.

There’s silence for a few long moments, his head finally lifting from his knees to lean against your shoulder. His breath is cool on your neck, but you don’t say anything. The silence stretches on, until you hear a soft voice.

“W-why do ya ev-ven bother?” he mumbles. It’s not the first time he’s asked this.

This is the first time you answer.

“Becauthe I want to.”

“That ain’t a real answ-wer, Thol-“ he cuts himself off with a curse at the lisp, but you don’t say anything.

Feferi had pointed out how much you stuttered when you were frustrated, the sound atrocious when mixed with your lisp.

You don’t talk for a few minutes, but he sits up until he’s facing you. Your noses are touching, the bright violet of his eyes intense and taking up your entire field of vision.

You don’t know who leans forward first, but your lips are pressed to his and his fins are fluttering softly as your eyes slide shut and your hands make their way to his hair.

The night past then is a blur of violet and gold as you hold each other so tightly it’s like you’re trying to fuse all over again.

You wake up covered in a blanket and a headache, your glasses folded neatly on the table beside the platform though you don’t remember putting them there. You sit up, realizing that something, someone is missing. You knew it would be awkward when you saw him, but you would talk about it next time.

He still wasn’t online, but the weeks that followed saw you trying and failing to contact him, waiting for the meetup. Waiting for “next time.”

Next time didn’t come.

**> Past Sollux: Be Sollux five years from now**

You are Sollux five years in the future or, as you are better known, Current Sollux.

**> Sollux: Stop remembering**

You are more than happy to shake the memories off, glaring at your computer screen.

That had been years ago. You’ve moved past it, no matter what Karkat says. He never knew the full story anyway.

You pointedly ignore the only handle that’s never online as you scroll through your chumroll, your head throbbing and your fingers twitching with the urge to do something. Energy boils up and over and normally when you’re like this you code for days on end but right now you can’t even make yourself  focus enough on it to write a single line. Your games hold no interest, the only hope of avoiding going outside being to find someone to hold your attention.

You’d gotten even less social as the years dragged on, more than content to curl in your block unless your hivemates drag you out.

Most of the Gods lived in the same area, though a few had spread out. You all kept in touch… well, most of you kept in touch.

Feferi and Aradia had claimed a fairly large hive between the city and the forest, a large river carving through the trees a couple hundred feet in. A sweep after what Eridan had fucked off to who knows where they had dragged you from the tiny hivestem you’d chosen as your own after you’d spent a week living off of energy drinks and code. Your argument that being a God meant you wouldn’t die hadn’t managed to sway them.

Part of you is grateful for the larger space, as your hivestem had been picked more out of nostalgia than comfort.

You frown at your screen again, cursor hovering over the handles. Feferi had gone on a date with Aradia earlier. Talking to Karkat only makes your headaches worse. The date catches your eye, your eyes narrowing as you realize what’s familiar about it.

_“Gog, you’re tho old, ED. Ten thweepth already.”_

_“Ah, ah, Sol. W-we both know-w this place uses years. That makes me, w-what, tw-wenty one?”_

_“That jutht maketh you thound even older.”_

_“Oh hush. You’re only like tw-wo months younger than me.”_

“Twelve thweepth,” you mumble under your breath. Twenty-five years. You wonder if he’s celebrating, wherever he is.

It’s a passing thought, but it still makes you look at his faded handle.

You don’t stop yourself from clicking on it.

 

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

_caligulasAquarium is offline!_

TA: happy wriiggliing day

_caligulasAquarium is offline!_

TA: fuck thii2 ii2 2tupiid

_caligulasAquarium is offline!_

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

 

You drag your fingers through your hair, feeling your claws on your scalp. Why did you even bother?

Because it felt like something was missing.

But you were used to feeling that, more often than you’d like to admit.

You felt it when your fingers stumbled over keys, doubling a few more letters than normal. You felt it when you’d scared the shit out of Feferi by subconsciously trying to take a breath beneath the waves of the river in the woods. You felt it when Aradia pointed out the way your ears flicked, more akin to a finned seadweller than a landdweller.

Your chest of aching. You were restless. Something was missing and as you glared at the greyed-out name on your chumroll you told yourself you didn’t know what it was.

**> Sollux: What now?**


	2. Chapter 2

**> Sollux: What now?**

You snap your husktop shut, a growl rising in your throat. The restless feeling in your stomach forces you to your feet and out the door. Your psionics slam it behind you, making you wince a little at the noise. At least AA and FF aren’t hive to worry about you.

A dark hoodie hangs on the back of a chair in the rumpusblock, which you grab before stepping outside. You almost forget to lock the door behind you, pausing to do so before squinting up at the sky.

The sun is high above you, the light shining and hot against his skin. Though this one wouldn’t kill you, you know that you can still get burned. You remember FF dragging you to the river once, not realizing that you didn’t know what sunscreen was. The next week was comprised mostly of pain and flaking yellow patches of skin.

Grimacing skyward, you realize that your colored lenses are doing jack shit about the light and pull the hoodie you grabbed on. With the hood up, your skin feels less hot and your eyes can open more than a squint. Maybe Strider was on the right track with those shades, not that you’d ever tell him that.

**> Sollux: Take a walk**

You aren’t sure how this is going to help anything, but you know that staying in that room was only managing to drive you crazy.

With your hands in your pockets, you stalked down the path into town. As you reach the buildings that stretch toward the sky, the streets become more crowded and you find yourself studying the people around you in a desperate attempt to distract yourself from your own thoughts.

An oliveblood waiting at the bus stop twirls a pendant in her hands, the same one that’s carved into the stone bed you woke on. It’s not unusual to see people with various jewelry with godly symbols, though you know yours is mostly carried as a good luck charm, as though your influence will help them make the right decision. The thought is enough to make you laugh.

You shake head a little as you pass the stop and cross the street, a comedy club handing out flyers emblazoned with the symbol of “The Trickster”. You doubt John is actually going to make an appearance, but then again when has he ever been predictable? One of the people outside it hands one to you, pausing with wide eyes as he seems to recognize you, but you’ve ducked away before he can say anything.

The park isn’t far, and it seems to be less crowded than the sidewalk at least. In the center of a large grassy meadow is a carefully tended garden. In the center is a statue, as featureless as the images in the books describing the Gods. Depicted in the dress of a Witch, the figure holds a pumpkin, her only defining features her long hair, glasses, and the dog ears perked on top of her head. Water falls from her hands, pooling at her feet and though you can’t see any details from your position across the park you know that an inscription in the stone of the base reads “The Gardener”. On either side of the meadow are playgrounds and walking paths, a ring of tall trees separating the bit of nature from the city. According to legend, the God placed it here herself, though Jade claims she didn’t have anything to do with it.

You watch a large dog escape from its owner, tearing across the grass to enjoy its newfound freedom. It’s amusing, but there are still too many people around for you relax.

Glancing around, you use your psionics to lift yourself into the top branches of a tree, gripping the rough bark once you were mostly out of sight. At least psionics weren’t exactly uncommon and trolls with them weren’t scared of using them in public, like they’d been on Alternia. At least here they didn’t have to worry about getting shoved into a ship.

You shake your head, your fingers drumming against the branch you’re sitting on. Why were you even out here? None of this was helping in the slightest, your mind still running through a dozen trains of thought as you stare at the sky. The energy in your chest was building to a dangerous level, a level that usually led to you doing something stupid like coding until you passed out to burn it off.

The soft ping of your palmhusk makes you jump, your fangs digging into your cheek hard enough to draw blood. Maybe whoever this is can help, though you don’t have much faith in that.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmegeddons [TA]

CC: S)(oallux?

CC: W)(ere are you?

CC: I already know yoar not at t)(e )(ive!

CC: You not answering isn’t makoing me any less worried!

CC: W)(AT US-E IS A PALM)(USK IF YOU DON’T ANSWER IT??

CC: >8(

TA: geez FF calm down iim fiine.

CC: Don’t tail me to clam down, Fis)(ter!

CC: W)(ere are you?

CC: Karcrab said yoar not wit)( )(im

TA: ii saiid iim fiine,

CC: T)(at doesn’t tail me w)(ere you are!

TA: iill bee hiive for diinner.

twinArmegeddons [TA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CC: S)(oallux?

CC: S)(OALLUX?!

CC: )8(

You hate it when she’s worried, but you’re not in the mood to deal with her fussing and you’re absolutely sure if you keep talking to her you’ll say something you’ll regret. Instead you shove your palmhusk into your sylladex and ignore the continued pinging.

Somewhere in your aching chest is the need to talk to someone, but none of the colorful names on your chumroll seem appealing right now. FF and AA will try to make you talk about what was wrong (because something is always wrong and they never seem to consider that you might not know either.) They tend to act as your morails, though you’re not officially pale with either of them and usually you don’t mind. However, right now the thought of being coddled makes you grimace.

KK would only make your headache worse and even after all this time you still don’t know the humans well enough to bother trying. You could probably try talking to MT, considering that some of his problems are similar, but you can’t imagine that going well when you’re already irritated.

You don’t know what to do, your chest screaming that something is missing and refusing to tell you what it is. This isn’t the first time you’d felt like this, but when it clashed with your manic periods it got absolutely unbearable.

You shake your head sharply, trying to clear it as the sparks around you start to shake the tree.

**> Sollux: Do something stupid**

There’s a burst of leaves and you’re in the air before you fully understand what’s happening, your psionics wrapping around you and dragging you through the cool breeze. The colors completely obscure your vision, trailing behind you as you bolt toward the horizon and some unknown destination that isn’t here.

You take a deep breath of the cooler air, probably leaving a fading line of sparks as you disappear and giving the people below one hell of a show. With any luck, they won’t connect the sparks to you, but you know that if Feferi sees it she’ll immediately question you.

You don’t care anymore.

You let the energy burst from you, driving you forward through the clouds until the air is just thin enough to make you lightheaded. The water disguised as white fluff dampens your clothes, mixing with sweat to make your hair stick to your forehead, though the sparks of your psionics burn slightly against the dampness. The pain only makes you move faster, twisting through the air as you scream into the void. Your throat hurts and your head only throbs more but it’s better than letting this sit in your chest any longer.

There’s a sharp pain in your side, as though you’d been running, and breaths become harder and harder to suck in until you finally let yourself tumble to a stop in the air. You gasp, the excess sparks finally disappearing and leaving your head somehow clearer.

You frown as the sky becomes visible, the sun that had just been high above you now hovering just over the horizon.

How long had you spent flying? How much time had you lost?

A loud ping catches your attention from your sylladex, your palmhusk screaming at you to answer it. You can only imagine the messages waiting for you on the screen.

Wiping the sweat from your forehead with your hoodie, you pull it from your sylladex and glance at the time before the messages.

Four hours.

It’s almost unbelievable and you absolutely deserve however mad FF is at you for disappearing like that. Shit, at this point she probably as everyone involved.

‘Not everyone,’ your brain tells you helpfully, only making you roll your eyes.

Instead of following that train of thought, you risk a glance at your palmhusk.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmegeddons [TA]

CC: S)(OALLUX CARPTOR!

CC: W)(-ER-E AR-E YOU?!

CC: Please respond, Sollux

CC: It’s been )(ours!

CC: At least tell me if yoar hurt!

CC: If you won’t answer me, at least answer SOM-EON---E!

 

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling twinArmegeddons [TA]

AA: s0llux?

AA: i kn0w that y0u haven’t been feeling well but please d0nt d0 anything stupid

AA: y0ure beginning to w0rry me

AA: are y0u 0k?

 

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling twinArmegeddons [TA]

CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?  
CG: EVERYONE’S BEEN RUNNING AROUND FOR AN HOUR NOW TRYING TO GET AHOLD OF YOUR ASS

CG: I THINK FEFERI IS GOING TO HAVE A FUCKING CONIPTION

CG: ANSWER YOUR PALMHUSK YOU UTTER PIECE OF SHIT

CG: SOLLUX?

CG: FINE! STAY FUCKING MISSING BUT KNOW THAT WHEN YOU COME BACK YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF FUCKING EXPLAINING TO DO! 

There’s about a full minute’s scrolling worth of gray text beyond that, and that’s not even with you attempting to read any of it. You doubt you’re going to.

There’s a few messages from handles you recognize but don’t care enough to open, though when a new message appears you pause.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering twinArmegeddons [TA]

TT: It seems that you are causing quite the stir, Mr. Captor.

TT: I understand that I may not be your ideal choice for conversation.

You narrow your eyes, glancing again at the other chats before deciding this is probably the least dangerous one to answer.

TA: then why are you here?

TA: iim not a guiinea piig two te2t your p2ychoanalyziing 2hiit on.

TT: And yet you answered.

TT: Though I am certain your particular brand of problems would be quite interesting to dive into, that is not why I am here. Perhaps that can be an activity for a later date?

TA: fat chance.

TA: then what do you want?

TT: Simply to offer you some advice.

TT: New Prospit is lovely this time of year, isn’t it?

You frown, looking below you. A city sprawls around you, smaller than New Skaia but large enough to have its own towers. You land on top of one and catch your breath, leaning against a vent and looking at the can shaped buildings that lined the streets of a suburb at the edge of the city.

New Prospit? Wow, you’d made it further than you thought.

TA: ok.

TA: iill biite.

TA: howd you know ii wa2 here?

TT: I have my ways, though the how is not what is important at the moment.

TA: 2ome 2eer bull2hiit?

TT: You say that as though you don’t have similar abilities.

TA: fuck off wiith the my2tery 2hiit.

TA: we get iit.

TA: youre weiird and 2pooky and know 2hiit.

TA: AA wa2 all of that before your uniiver2e even exii2ted.

TA: 2o ju2t tell me what CRYPTIIC b2 you have before ii block you.

TT: I apologize.

TT: I didn’t mean to come across as mocking. I was simply having a bit of fun.

TT: I honestly do want to offer some advice.

TA: youre tryiing two help me?

TT: That is generally what advice is for.

TT: I know we haven’t spoken much, but I believe I can provide some assistance in finding it.

TA: what ii2 ‘iit’, Lalonde?

TT: What you’re looking for.

TA: ii’m not lookiing for anythiing

TT: Perhaps not consciously.

TA: and were back two the my2tery bull2hiit.

TA: iim out

TT: Wait.

TA: what.

TT: While you’re there, you should visit one of the cafes.

TT: I here the coffee is fantastic.

TA: wtf ii2 that 2uppo2ed two mean?

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering twinArmegeddons [TA]

TA: gogdamniit Lalonde

You almost throw your palmhusk off the damn building, but instead of making your dozenth bad decision of the day you just shove it in your sylladex. Hopping over the buildings edge, you float to the ground and land in a darkened alley near the least people as to not draw attention to yourself.

What the fuck had she been talking about? You aren’t looking for anything but a way to stop feeling so shitty and restless. And coffee sure wasn’t going to help that.

You shove your hands into your pockets and storm down the street, keeping your hood up and trying to keep your sparks to minimum. No need to scare the citizens of this city into thinking they’d done something to bring your anger.

You take a deep breath, letting your sparks fall away with the exhale.

This was why you didn’t like talking to people- especially not know-it-all Seers who were vague for the sheer purpose of being a pain in the-

The overwhelming smell of coffee hits you suddenly, a momentary distraction from your irritation. You look across the street as the outdoor lights come on, illuminating a little outdoor area with small tables as the light of the day faded. Most of the tables were full of people chattering over steaming mugs and slices of pie. The window behind them was hand painted, the entire shop cozy looking despite the buildings that surrounded it.

‘ _You should visit one of their cafes._ ’

You almost walk away purely out of spite, but the nagging thought keeps you from doing so.

What if she’s right? What if there’s something in there that will finally get rid of the void behind your ribs? You doubt it, but the very possibility is too enticing to pass up on.

You look again at the shop and sigh as you cross the street, pushing open the door and hearing a tiny bell ring as you do so. A Prospitian serving a nearby table notices you but doesn’t seem to recognize you as she greets you with a smile and promises that someone will be with you in just a moment. You offer a polite smile and a nod, eyes scanning the room. The smell of coffee is much stronger in here, along with a few other foods that remind you how little you’ve eaten today.

Against one wall is a line of booths, the rest of the space lined with tables. You can see the Prospitian stop beside a troll who’s back is turned to you, though you can see the tray of cups in their hand. She taps their shoulder and points toward you, the troll gesturing toward the tray in their hands before they turn to look at you.

You feel your stomach drop as far too familiar violet eyes meet yours. You recognize the waved horns, the violet streak, the glasses, and the fins that pin back as his eyes widen. As you watch him take a step back, you wonder if this is what Rose meant.

“Eridan?” You know he can’t hear you, but you still let the name slip into the air. The tray slips from his hand, cups sliding off and the whole thing crashes toward the ground. You react on instinct, catching the tray in a cloud of red and blue and setting it on the table directly in front of him. You can hear his yelp from here as he scrambles back, fear clear in his eyes.

An older woman appears behind him, her hand resting on his arm as a concerned look creased her face. Her eyes land on you, but although recognition lights her features it doesn’t stop her from shooting you a glare.

Eridan glances at you before waving her off, nervously walking toward you with his fins still flat against his head. He stops a few feet away, his hands very obviously shaking until he puts them behind his back. You stood like that for a long minute until he breaks the silence.

“What are you doin’ here, Sol?” he asks, his stutter under much better control than when you last spoke to him. His voice holds traces of fear, but mostly confusion. “It’s been two sweeps- five fuckin years and not one of you has bothered lookin for me. Why now? Who else is here?”

You raise your hands innocently. “No one. It’th jutht me, ED. Calm down.”

His eyes narrow. “Don’t ‘ED’ me, Captor. And don’t tell me to calm down! I’ve been fine this entire time and now it’s all ruined because you suddenly decided to care!”

“What the fuck, ED?”

“Why?! Why now?”

“Calm the fuck down and quit being dramatic, Ampora. I wathn’t trying to find you, I jutht ended up here.”

Somehow this isn’t the right thing to say because something in his expression falls at that.

“…of course. I mean, you’ve gone this long without giv-vin a shit.” His stutter is back, but you decide not to say anything about it. “Probably didn’t ev-ven notice-“

“I notithed!” You protest, frowning. “It’th not my fault you don’t know how to check your fucking chat!”

“W-well you obv-viously didn’t look that fuckin hard! It’s not like I tried to hide w-where I w-was! I just kept my head dow-wn and minded my ow-wn business!”

You purse your lips because you know he’s right. Not that you’ll ever say it.

“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me,” you finally say. “You already didn’t talk to anyone for whatever reathon-“

“They all hated me,” he snaps, a growl rising in his throat. He pauses and closes his eyes taking a deep breath, steadying himself. “You’re the only one who would talk to me. I’m not an idiot, Captor. I wasn’t wanted there, and you wouldn’t leave me alone, so I left.”

You freeze, your brow furrowing. “You left…becauthe of me?”

He sighs, crossing his arms and looking away with a tight expression. “Not exactly. I don’t really want to get into this here, Captor.”

“Then where? Let’th go.”

“I can’t. Unlike you, I have actual responsibilities and one of them is finishing this shift.”

It only just hits you that he is wearing a uniform, that he was holding a tray. There’s a notepad tucked into his apron pocket and a pencil behind his fin.

“You work here?”

He nods.

“Why?”

“I’ve got to make a livin somehow.”

You frown. All of the Gods had access to the same, basically unlimited funding from the game. He has the same money you do. Why is he working?

“Why- Nevermind. Tho after-“

“I think it’d be best if you just left, Captor,” he said sharply. “I’ve been just fine on my own and there’s some things you just wouldn’t understand-“

“Daddy?”

Eridan freezes, his fins flaring in alarm as he stares at you with blood freezing fear in his eyes. The voice came from behind him, where a small girl is standing. She doesn’t look any older than two sweeps, tugging insistently on his apron.

You almost expect him to shoo her away, because she obviously has the wrong seadweller.

Instead, he crouches to her level, sitting on his heels.

She’s barely the same height as him when he crouches, her hair falling in long ringlets, one of which is completely violet. Two sets of horns poke through her hair, the front most set it short and sharp, the second set curved like Eridan’s. Violet-tinted glasses sit on her nose, completely blocking her eyes as she flaps her fins in irritation. She’s very clearly a violetblood, if the symbol stitched onto her dress is anything to go by. You frown at it. It’s wavy and familiar.

“Daddy!” she says again, putting her hands on her hips. “Fin isn’t sharing!”

Eridan glances at you. “He’s not?”

“No!” she huffs. “He’s keeping the whole milkshake!”

“Did you finish your dinner?”

She nods, frowning.

“Even the vegetables?”

At this she looks a little sheepish, tugging lightly on her violet lock of hair. “I ate most of them! Ms. Val said it was okay!”

Eridan sighs but ruffles her hair and stands. “Go tell Ms. Val that I said you could have a small piece of pie for dessert. If Fin wants to share it with you, he has to share the milkshake too, okay?”

Her face brightens, and she nods, grinning at him. “Okay!” Her gaze slips to you. “Who is that? Is he your friend?”

Eridan freezes, looking at you as though he just remembered you existed.

You glance at him before answering. “Er…yeah. I’m hith friend.”

She beams at you. “Wow! I’ve never met one of Daddy’s friends before! What’s your name?”

“His name is Sollux,” Eridan cuts in. “How about you go get your pie, Nikki?”

She looks back at the counter before nodding. “Okay! Bye bye, Mr. Sol!” With that she runs off, catching the attention of the older woman from before and pointing to a treat through the glass counter.

You find yourself staring at Eridan, who looks suddenly exhausted. “Wha-“

“I’ll explain later,” he snaps, scowling for a moment before going back to tired. “…I get off in thirty minutes.”

“Tho-“

“ _So,_ sit down. I’ll bring you some coffee.” He waves you toward a booth, disappearing as you sit. There’s a mug of coffee in front of you a minute later, the rest of the pot left at your table. Eridan has his fingers pressed to his temple as he walks away.

About ten minutes pass before you hear the voice again. “Hi, Mr. Sol!”

The girl, Nikki, is standing next to the table, tightly gripping the hand of the boy next to her. Unlike her, he is clearly a yellowblood, though his hoodie bears the same symbol she does. His eyes are also hidden behind sunglasses, a pair of bulky headphones covering his ears. His hair is short and messy, his bangs colored with yellow.

“Fin wanted to meet you!” she chirps, waving excitedly.

“I did not,” Fin mumbles, frowning at you.

“Oh, come on, Fin!” Nikki huffs. He looks away, ignoring her.

“Fin!”

She glares at him, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“Fin! I know you can hear me!”

He continues to stay silent until her hand lashes out and grabs the headphones, pulling them off of his head. “FIN!”

He shrieks, grabbing her glasses in an attempt to reach for his headphones and getting his own knocked off in the process. You realize with a shower of sparks that both of their eyes are glowing red and blue, yellow tinted fins flaring from Fin’s hair.

Their psionics clash and hiss, trying to grab their things from the other but not succeeding. You throw up a barrier between them on instinct, though it dissipates when Eridan appears.

He scoops up Fin, who immediately buries his face in the others shoulder as the sparks die down.

“Aphina,” Eridan scolds, frowning. “You know you’re not supposed to spark at your sister.”

“She started it,” you hear him mumble, his hands gripping Eridan’s shirt. “She took my headphones.”

Eridan sighs. “Nikola. Did you take Aphina’s headphones?”

She pouts, holding them out. “He was ignoring me! And he took my glasses.” Her horns spark a bit, her eyes still glowing brightly.

Aphina seems much calmer once his headphones are back in place, handing the glasses down to his sister.

“Now apologize to each other.”

Nikola sighs. “I’m sorry I took your headphones.”

“I’m sorry I took your glasses,” Aphina mumbles, looking at the ground.

Eridan looks more tired than before. “What are you two even doing over here?”

“Fin wanted to meet Mr. Sol!” Nikola pipes up.

“I did not!” Aphina argues.

“But he sparks, and you said that was cool!”

Eridan sighs. “Still…you shouldn’t bother people.” He jumps a little as the older woman from before appears.

“Is everything alright, Eridan?”

“Oh- geez, Val! Don’t do that. Everythin’s fine. Sorry for any commotion.”

“It’s fine, dear,” she assures him with a  pat on the shoulder. “Why don’t you take off a little early? Aphina looks quite upset.”

He pauses before nodded. “Thanks, Val.”

“It’s no problem. Enjoy your day off tomorrow.”

As she walks away, he looks at you. “Sol…give me like five minutes to clean up.  Do you mind keeping these two out of trouble for that long?”

You nod a little, in shock. The siblings are seated across from you, drawing pads and a box of crayons set in front of them.

“Are you really Daddy’s friend?” Aphina asks you. You nod, and he studies you for a moment before starting his drawing.

Eridan showed back up in jeans and a sweater, a bag slung over his shoulder and two small backpacks in hand.

“Thanks for waitin. Are you two ready to go?”

Nikki nods excitedly, taking her backpack and shoving her drawing pad inside. Aphina follows suit, looking at Sollux.

“Is he coming too?”

Eridan looks at Sollux for a moment. “Yeah. He’s visitin for a bit.”

Nikki grabs one of Eridan’s hands and Aphina grabs the other one before they start down the street. You don’t say anything and the children fill the silence with chatter about their day. Mostly Nikki.

You come to an apartment building, taking the elevator almost to the top. The hiveblock is fairly nice, bigger than the one you used to live in.  A couch and television sit in the rumpusblock, two doors at the end of the room you assume are respiteblocks and a small culinaryblock off to the side.

The kids leave their backpacks and shoes by the door as they run inside. Eridan hangs the bags from hooks on the wall, lining up their shoes along it and slipping off his own shoes. You follow suit, standing awkwardly in the doorway until he waves a hand at you.

“Go make yourself at home while I put them to bed. The remotes on the coffee table.”

The children grumble about bedtime but run off to get ready and reappear with storybooks in hand. Eridan helps them into their coons and spends about twenty minutes reading to them before he closes the door quietly behind him

You barely look up when he sits beside you.

There’s a long silence.

“Look, I know you probably have questions-“

“When did you get kidth?”

Eridan frowns. “…they’re just under five years old.”

“Tho, right after you left? You jutht, what, dethided to adopt?”

His brow furrows. “Sol. They’re _my_ grubs.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, more than a little confused. “I thought dethendantth were thuppothed to actually rethemble their anthethtorth?” If he had just sent slurry to the mothergrub right after he vanished, it could work, but their horns should look like his at the very least.

Eridan pauses. “That’s true…when mothergrubs are used.”

**> Sollux: Realize**

Your mind goes blank for a long moment, the extended silence finally bringing you to a conclusion. It’s something you’ve heard of, sure, but you didn’t think-

“You carried them?” you say, your voice too quick- too high. You’re almost squeaking, not that you’d admit it.

His silence answers your question and you stare at the ground, gaping for something to say. “I thought that was just an Earth C troll thing!”

Eridan’s eyes are on his hands. “They couldn’t have if we didn’t- I remember reading about it in history logs on Alternia but…back then carriers were culled. The Empress didn’t like leaving that much room for mutations. For things like…psionic seadwellers.”

You sit in silence for another long minute.

“Tho…if you carried them…who wath the other parent?”

He stares at you. “You’re kiddin, right?”

You look at him blankly and he sighs. “Sollux. They’re psionics. Who the fuck do you think it was?”

You pause, then it hits you and you feel your eyes widen with the realization as he leans against the back of the couch.

Oh shit.

**> Sollux: Be Eridan**


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is supporting this fic already! I wasn't expecting so many people to like this so thank you to you all!

**> Sollux: Be Eridan**

You can’t be Eridan because even Eridan doesn’t want to be Eridan right now.

**> Sollux: Be Past Eridan**

You can’t be Past Eridan because Past Eridan is asleep.

**> Past Eridan: WAKE UP!**

Alright, alright! You don’t have to be so pushy about it.

You wake up with one fin freezing, though the other is far too hot. With a groan, you turn your head, pressing your face into the warmth as a sharp chin presses into your scalp between your horns. The smell of caffeine laced energy drinks clings to your nose, though there is a sweeter scent underneath. You let out a huff of air, prying your eyes open as you drag your mind to consciousness and freeze as you take in your surroundings.

The blanket covering you is soft, almost overly fluffy, trapping the heat of the person you’re curled against. A pair of thin arms is wrapped around you, their boniness something you’d brought up to them before in the rare moments of open sincerity between you.

It probably shouldn’t be as rare as it is. You shared a body, a mind. Admitting that you’re worried shouldn’t be this hard.

Beneath your head is an equally bony chest, a heartbeat that is just a bit quicker than yours echoing in your ears. You feel your own pusher squeeze in your chest as you carefully pull yourself from his arms and glance at the material piled on the floor. The sunlight streaming in through the window glints off of colored lenses sitting on top of a shirt, another set of glasses beside them.

You swallow hard, the memories of the night before swirling in your head. You don’t regret it, but the panic in your chest is telling you that you’ve ruined everything. Running your hands through your hair, you take a deep breath and force yourself to stand. Methodically, you search through the pile and pull your jeans on as quietly as possible.

Guilt sits in your stomach at leaving like this, but you don’t think that you can talk to him right now. You pause to press your hands to your face and force yourself to breathe again. There’s no way that things can stay the same, that you could address this without admitting…

Sollux had been the closest thing you’d had to a friend, though you still weren’t sure why. Perhaps it was pity that kept him close to you, pity for the mess he’d seen in your head. When he’d first spoken to you, you’d been sure that he was fucking with you. It took months for you to accept that he wasn’t toying with you, that he wasn’t going to pull the rug out from under you later.

Of course, even if he wanted to, he didn’t have to. You did that just fine on your own.

You don’t know when you started liking him, though you suppose maybe you always had on some level. Before the game, he had been an asshole with enough intelligence to impress you, though you’d never admit that to a lowblood, but you were too caught up in Feferi to pay much attention to anyone seriously. In the game, you blamed him for the relationship that had been doomed from day one, convincing yourself that the closest to affection you felt was the pitch you threw at him. It’s easy to see now that anything stemming from that would have crumbled almost immediately.

He’s too damn pitiable but, like pretty much everyone, somehow better than you in every way.

You have the most self-esteem.

Now…you aren’t sure how you feel about him. Some part of you still thinks that he only sticks around because of something closer to the human definition of pity, but you always ignored that voice because even if it was true at least you weren’t alone.

He made you feel safe, your conversations always sitting on the very edge of pale although neither of you dared to call it that. Of course, you were stupid enough to start leaning towards flush, your feelings turning into a strange swirl of pity and pale that made your head spin and your pusher ache. You tried to convince yourself it was nothing, that this was another one of the thousand failed crushes of Eridan Ampora’s pathetic history. It didn’t work.

You didn’t act on it, at least not on purpose. Even when he let you curl against him in some desperate attempt to curb the loneliness that had clawed at you from the inside out since you’d woken here, you told yourself there was nothing pale going on.

You don’t know who leaned in first, only realizing after a moment of being thoroughly lost in the pupil less color of his eyes that you were kissing. You expected him to pull away, push you away, the harsher part of you screeching that everything was ruined and it was your fault, but instead you felt his hands in your hair and his thumbs against your fins and you melted against him.

Of course, now that harsh voice was back and prodding at you and telling you every way you’ve messed this up. That you’ve only just proven what everyone has always said about you. That you’re desperate for attention, for affection. That Sollux is never going to want to see you again and even if he does it won’t be the same because you’ll have to admit that while it might have meant nothing to him it meant everything to you.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you wrap your scarf around your neck, grabbing your glasses and slipping on your shoes. Before you step out, you pause and pick up his glasses, setting them on the nightstand. Knowing Sollux, he’d end up stepping on them. With a final look at him that only solidifies the heavy feeling in your chest, you let yourself smile slightly, sadly, and leave.

**> Past Eridan: Disappear forever**

You planned to come back, you really did, but until you thought things had blown over you would be fine on your own. Completely and totally alone, like you rightfully should be.

Cod. Feferi was right, you are dramatic.

Somewhere along that way of your brilliant plan, you had decided that proving you could survive on your own would mean something. So, you cut yourself off from the Godly funds, not that you’d ever felt right using them anyway. You might have helped win your own game, but this universe’s creation didn’t have a thing to do with you.

You took just enough to pay for a small block in a hivestem, which wasn’t much but neither was the hive you’d been living in before. Of course, you still needed a way to actually take care of yourself, a way to buy food and everything else you needed to survive.

Part of you suggested disappearing into the wild and hunting for yourself, but you were unarmed and unsure about what creatures lurked in the wilds of this new planet. And the ocean wasn’t an option for several reasons.

So, you got a job.

The café was small, but it was cozy and the “Help Wanted” sign caught your eye. You ignored the part of yourself that sneered at the thought of working, the part that told you that you were royalty, you were a God, you shouldn’t have to work. You’d lived like that your whole life and if you wanted anything to change you were damn well going to have to earn it.

The girl behind the counter is a jade blood, her hair in a thick braid tossed over her shoulder. A familiar pair of golden wings hangs from her ear, her eyes widening as she glances at the application you just turned in. You aren’t exactly used to being recognized, just hoping she doesn’t cause a scene.

“Are you-“

“Yes.” You cut her off with a sigh, running a hand through your hair. “If that’s gonna be an issue then-“

It’s her turn to cut you off as she waves her hands at you. “No, no! I just never thought that I’d meet any of the Gods, much less The Strategist himself.”

You grimace a little at the title, taking a deep breath through your nose as a memory tickles the back of your mind.

_“Our titleth are tho fucking thtupid.”_

_“I dunno, I kinda like mine. The Strategist.”_

_“Uh huh. And we all know how fantathtically your planth go, don’t we?”_

_“Well at least it’s better than The Alternator! My title is about my intelligence instead of a number fetish at least.”_

_Sollux scoffs and throws himself across your lap dramatically. “Oh no, help I’m being thlandered by Eridan Ampora.”_

_You roll your eyes and shove him off of you, but not without a small laugh bubbling up._

_The warm feeling in your chest grows._

_You ignore it._

“-, Mr. Ampora?”

You blink and come back to the present, your fins flaring slightly.

The jade, her nametag reads ‘Delias’, has a concerned expression as she studies your face.

“Sorry,” you say quickly. “W-well, I’m flattered, but I’d rather keep my head down if it’s all the same to you. I’m not real keen on gettin crowded like some kind of zoo beast.”

She gets a serious expression and nods, picking up your application. “I understand. I won’t tell anyone. Besides, it’s common knowledge that The Strategist keeps to himself. I’ll give the Boss your paper. You should hear back by the end of the week. Good luck!”

You hope she’s telling the truth, but there’s nothing you can do about it now.

It doesn’t take a week. Two days later you hear your palmhusk ring.

“Hello?”

“Eridan Ampora? This is Valerie Johnson from the Night Owl Café?”

“Oh- hello!” You repeat, feeling a little stupid for doing so.

“I’m calling about your application. Would you be available for an interview tomorrow at three?”

You nod, almost kicking yourself as you realize she can’t see that. “Yes. Of course.”

“Good. I’ll see you then! Have a good day, Mr. Ampora.”

You dress as nicely as you can, considering the fact that the better parts of your wardrobe are long since lost or abandoned. Still, you manage to scrounge up a nice pair of black jeans and a button up with your sign stitched over your pusher. You style your hair, nowhere near as meticulously as you had when you were younger, and give yourself a long look before walking over.

An older woman greets you when you step inside, her greying hair pulled into a bun. Her eyes are a piercing blue, but after a moment of scrutiny a kind smile comes over her face. “Good afternoon, Mr. Ampora. I have to say, I was surprised to see your application. It’s not everyday that I have a deity apply to work at my café.”

“Afternoon,” you say quickly, your fins flicking nervously. “And, uh, it’s just Eridan.”

She sits down at a table in the corner, waiting for you to take a seat before she starts talking.

The interview only lasts about twenty minutes, though it feels like much longer. You realize very quickly that you have absolutely no experience in anything, a dark flush of embarrassment coloring your face. Still, you must have done something right because she asks you if you can come in the next day for training.

Work is…interesting to say the least. You mostly make drinks at first, burning yourself more than once with scalding water or coffee, but you’re good at it. You don’t have to interact with many of the people who come in, keeping to yourself and only really talking to a few of your coworkers.

Valerie is kind, often talking to you and trying to help in a way you know is very human but still feels just the slightest bit pale. She says it’s because you remind her of her children, though you think she’s just worried about you taking care of yourself. Especially when you start getting sick.

As a highblood, you never really dealt with illness before. Seadwellers usually didn’t get sick unless they were wounded enough to let infection in, though by that point it was usually too late to do anything about it. You supposed it could be a cold, but that couldn’t explain why you were hunched over the load gaper several times a day, even when there was nothing in your meal sac.

You never developed a fever, though you did start getting intense headaches and pains in your stomach. Valerie finally drags you to a clinic, promising to stay with you in the room that smells far too strongly of cleaner while you list off everything that is wrong with you.

You wonder if you’re dying. You know you’d probably wake up, dying of sickness isn’t any sort of heroic or just, but you still don’t want to die.

The doctor takes a bit of blood from you and runs a few tests. You wait for long enough to start fidgeting and pacing around the small room, your fins pinned to the sides of your head. This planet had a mix of Alternian and Earth technology, the combined knowledge putting them above either planet, and it still took far too long for you to get any results.

You hear the door open and perk up, your fins flaring as you look at the doctor.

You’re not dying.

You’re _gravid_.

You demand proof, hardly able to hear him over the sound of your own heartbeat in your ears. He takes you to another room and places something over your stomach, the screen only confirming what you’d been told.

Your breath comes in sharp gasps, panic spiking your heartrate. You can barely take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of grubs? And you’d have to take off from work, your source of income. Is your apartment even big enough for a family?

“How many?” you manage, staring at the screen.

“I can’t be entirely sure at this point, but I can see six eggs.”

Six. You press your hands to your face as Valerie firmly tells you that she’s going to help you.

The doctor decides to helpfully inform you that, depending on how much lower on the spectrum the other parent is, some of the six might not make it to hatching. You suppose that he is trying to ease your worry about suddenly having six kids, but it only makes something animalistic and instinctive inside you flare up protectively.

The first thing Valerie does when you leave is take you to get some proper vitamins and food. You try to wave off her help, telling her you’ll be fine although you are not at all sure of that.

“Eridan, you listen to me. I have had four children, two of which have children of their own. I know what I’m doing here, but you don’t. It’s not a crime to accept help and the last thing I’m going to do is let you do this alone.”

You may have teared up a little.

So much for going back.

**> Past Eridan: Look at your family**

Six eggs.

They are all pale grey, about the size of your fist and smooth. It took you hours, but here they are, sitting at the bottom of a shallow pool with you curled up beside them. You should be back at work in a couple of weeks, since it will be at least another month before they hatch and you’ll need time for that.

You reach out and touch one, able to feel warmth through the fragile shell.

You wonder how many will make it.

**> Past Eridan: Grieve**

Two eggs hatch.

You could hear the cracking almost immediately, a soft chirping dragging you to their side as you watch a small violetblood pull herself from the remainder of her egg. She blinks up at you, the bright red and blue of her eyes startling you.

It’s almost an hour before the second egg hatches, this one a small goldblood with fins that remain pressed to his head constantly.

You feed them and wait for the others to hatch. They never do.

You wait a month before burying them, sobbing in Valerie’s arms as you do so.

She is a big help in all of it. With her assistance, you find a better hivestem and set up a nursery. The grubs grow fast, both beginning to spark at about two months old and Aphina even figures out how to move things with his mind before long.

This would be very impressive if he would stop picking up his sister every time she annoyed him.

You try to get everything you can for them, bringing them stuffed animals and other toys to play with and setting up a small pool in the corner so they can swim around to keep their gills developing properly. Aphina doesn’t like the water much, but Nikola adores it.

They pupate at about six months old, emerging in a week looking much more like a human toddler. They can walk in small, stumbling steps, but other than that they develop very much like humans do.

It isn’t easy and more than once your hive is scorched by a psionic tantrum but they’re your family and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

**> Past Eridan: Be Current Eridan**

You don’t look at Sollux, hearing him mumble a curse under his breath with a flinch. Of course he would be upset or even horrified at having descendants with you.

“I know that this is probably a shock and all,” you say, taking a deep breath and trying your hardest to keep your voice steady. “But you really don’t need to worry about this. Just please don’t tell anyone. I…I’ve been fine on my own and I’d prefer to keep it that way.”

He pauses and looks at you, his glasses sliding to the end of his thin nose. You almost look away, his gaze far too intense and you feel like you are going to crumble before it.

“You act like I’m going to jutht leave,” he huffs, your own eyes going wide.

“Why wouldn’t you?” you say sharply, barely able to keep your voice down. Nothing good would come of you yelling. “Like I said, I’m _fine_! I don’t need any help or sympathy. I have a job and a hive and I can raise them just fine on my own. You don’t need to feel obligated to do anything.”

“It’th not _obligation_ ,” he hisses at you, his eyes narrow. “They’re my wrigglerth too!”

“And? I’ve been the one raising them!”

“Becauthe you fucking left, Ampora!” His voice raises, and you pale, waving your hands at him.

“I- okay yeah I left but to be fair I left before I found out. But seriously, keep your voice down. I don’t want to wake them.”

He purses his lips but nods and leans back against the couch. “Look, ED. You’ve been gone for yearth and I’m not about to let you dithappear again.”

“Why?” you are very aware that your voice is a whine, high pitched and dragged out.

“Becauthe I want to.”

You blink, your mind shooting back to the night before you left. You swallow hard, your eyes tight. “That’s not a real answer, Sol.”

You sit there for a long minute, looking at your hands. “I’m…I suppose it would nice to have someone to help with psionic stuff… When they have tantrums there’s not much I can do. And it’s not like I can force you to leave. But you can’t tell anyone where I am,” your voice turns sharp at the end and he raises his hands, palms toward you.

“I won’t, I won’t. Geeth, ED.”

“I- I just…they hate me, Sol.”

“ED, I don’t think-“

“Sollux, I’m not budging on this. You, I can deal with. We’re…friends at the very least. I… I can’t handle anyone else, not that I really trust most of them anyway.” You take a deep breath. “Please?”

He looks at you, finally sighing and leaning against you. You almost push him off, but just huff and close your eyes.

“Fine,” he mumbles. “I can keep my mouth shut.” He stays there for a moment longer before standing and pacing the length of the room.

“Sol?”

“I’m fine,” he snaps, taking a deep breath. You remember seeing this before, seeing the energy bubbling under his surface. He looks tired, but you know that he won’t sleep if you tell him to. “Tell me about them.”

You jolt, looking at him in confusion.

“The kidth,” he prompts, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t even know they exthithted until today. Jutht…I don’t know, be a Trollmark movie proud luthuth and ramble about them.”

You’ve seen this before, too. You remember him listening to you ramble about the dumbest of things, if only to focus on something other than his own rebelling brain. You don’t have clear memories of it, but you know you felt it at one point too, having too much or too little energy, feeling like you were either going to explode or crumble in on yourself.

So, you talk.

“Nikola is the oldest by about an hour, but Aphina hates it when she tells him that. She’s generally more excited about everything, so most of the trouble they get into is because of her ideas. They’re both really smart. Nikola can tell you everything about the movies she watches, and she started playing games at the school computers. She was extremely proud to tell me that she now has the high score.”

Sollux snorts, glancing at the ceiling. “Of courthe she got the high thcore. She’th my dethendant.”

You roll your eyes until he looks at you expectantly. “Aphina loves to read. They each get a small allowance for snacks and things at school, but he always saves his up to get books. I swear he spends more time at the library than in class, but he’s not the most social kid. Nikola can read too, but she doesn’t enjoy it quite as much-“

“What are the headphoneth for?” Sollux interrupts you, making you glare at him for a moment.

“Oh, Aphina gets overwhelmed real easily,” you explain, a little tired but this isn’t the first time you’ve had to go over this. “Fins kind of funnel sound and make everything louder, so being in anywhere that’s crowded or loud scares him. He panics and tries to get out of the situation, which either leads to him lashing out or breaking down. The headphones are somewhat noise canceling so he can still hear everything it’s just…muffled. He doesn’t always wear them, but they’re kind of a comfort object to him so he almost always has them.” You shrug. “His teacher understands, for the most part, but I’m a bit worried about when he gets older.”

“I thought he might have been covering hith finth,” he says, having stopped pacing about a minute ago.

“I think he might be. Kids can be cruel and even though mutations aren’t cullable offenses on this planet…lowblooded seadwellers just aren’t a typical sight. I think that might be part of why Nikola never wants to take her glasses off, but those also help with her migraines so…” you trail off, shrugging again. “I can support them here, but I can’t do a lot except tell their teacher and hope she cares enough to do something, and that’s only if something happens.”

You rub your temples, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on. At least you have the day off tomorrow, but there’s still so much to get done. You have laundry and dinner and cleaning and now Sollux for however long he plans on staying.

It’s a lot.

There’s a sudden pressure at the base of your horns that makes you jump, but it isn’t long before you relax slightly and the pain in your skull fades. You look up as much as you can, able to see a few sparks flicking past your hair.

“Thanks,” you mumble, glancing at Sollux, who finally sits beside you again. The headache might be fading but the stress isn’t.

“I didn’t know you got headaches,” he says, tilting his head as he looks at you.

“I didn’t until I got to this planet,” you grumble. “Maybe I got them from you, because of course your bullshit would stick with me.”

Sollux tenses beside you, frowning. For all you two had talked, neither of you had ever brought up that time. It was awkward and heavy and neither of you really wanted to discuss the time when you’d been the same person.

“Do you remember it?” you ask in a small voice, closing your eyes.

“Not a lot,” he admits, the pressure on your horns disappearing. “Bitth and pietheth. More bullshit feelingth than anything elthe.”

You laugh a little. “I can’t recall anything specific, I remember the experience more than the situations. Like…I can remember bein really annoyed when Jake would talk to us, but I don’t really remember what he said, and I only really remembered it when he talked to me during the first meetup.”

“Yeah…”

You don’t admit that sometimes the memories are instincts that aren’t your own. That sometimes you’ll forget you can’t float without your wings and stumble down a flight of stairs. That you can spout random information about computers or games, but you have no idea where the information came from. That you dream of fear and pain and darkness and sometimes wake up surprised the you can see.

With a yawn, you open your eyes and stand, walking to the hallway closet.

“What are you doing?” Sollux asks, leaning over the back of the couch to watch you.

“I’m getting you a blanket and then both of us are going to sleep.”

You hear him try to protest and glare at him. “Whatever questions you still have can wait until tomorrow. I have to get up early and I’m not about to have you wandering my hive all night. Plus,” you shove the blanket into his hand and push him toward the couch, “I know how you are. You probably haven’t slept in days.”

“I’ve thlept!” he huffs, though he quickly breaks eye contact.

“Passin out as your keyboard doesn’t count,” you say pointedly. “Honestly, Captor, how are you still even alive? You’re lucky the universe doesn’t consider stupidity to be a just death.”

He glares at you, zapping you with his psionics and making you jump slightly, crossing your arms. “You’re also lucky that I am so fuckin forgivin and generous that I’m not kickin you out for that. Just go the fuck to sleep.”

You put your hands on your hips, tapping your foot and you almost start counting to three as though he was a child. Luckily, the first two work and he shuffles to the couch. His clothes switch to his Godtiers, you suppose they _are_ pajamas, and he flops down on the couch. A wave of psionics puts the blanket over him and you sigh before shuffling towards your block.

“…Night, Sol.”

“Night,” you hear him mumble before you shut the door. Your block doesn’t have a recupracoon, so you change into pajamas, not your Godtiers, and curl underneath the blanket.

Your headache is back, but you eventually are able to slip into unconsciousness with a single thought.

Your life is about to get a lot more interesting.

**> Eridan: Dream**


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: for blood and nightmares

**> Eridan: Dream**

You know this is a dream because you’re back on the meteor. The block is dark and littered with items people have left behind. You can see the bright stuffed beast of Tavros’s fiduspawn games sitting in the corner, stuffing strewn from its ripped seams. A few dice catch the light from the husktop screens that never seemed to shut off, their sharp points just waiting for a vulnerable foot to step on them. Gamzee’s one-wheeled device is discarded on the floor where he got tired of trying to ride it.

You know this is a dream because when you shift your weight, you can hear the airy squeaking of horns beneath you. A cool hand catches your arm as you pause, the voice that follows making your pusher stop and your blood run cold.

“ _Shoallux_?”

You know this is a dream because you hear a stuttering voice catch her attention, the swish of fabric catching yours as a bright violet comes into view. You hear yourself sneer back, your tongue heavy and unfamiliar and fumbling over crooked teeth.

You know this is a dream because the person glaring down at you is wearing your face, his fangs bared and his eyes tinging orange with rage. When you stand, your shoes are mismatched, and your arms are mostly bare. You snarl and watch as the sparks come into being around you, the wand in his hand flaring with the white flames of hope. You see pink out of the corner of your eye, everything in you screaming at her to run, at the troll wearing your face to stop before he does something he’ll regret for the rest of his existence.

You know this is a dream because you watch the other you lift his hand as the colored beams burst from you.

You know this is a memory because you can’t change a thing.

There’s a burst of light that overtakes your vision, searing pain settling deep in your skull with a burning intensity that only gets worse until you feel something hard against your head as you slip from consciousness.

Your vision clears, but the nightmare isn’t over. The meteor is still around you, but this time you are the one holding the wand. Something warm and wet clings to your hands, making you drop the weapon as you stare in horror at violet and gold blood that tells you this isn’t a memory anymore.

You’re scared to look up, to look where you know the bodies are, but you do because something in you _has_ to know. They mirror your memory, but they aren’t the same. They’re too small to be the same, gold and violet replacing jade and fuchsia.

Tears spring to your eyes as you tell yourself it’s just a dream. You’ve changed, you’re better. You would never hurt them.

You can’t tear your eyes away from the limp forms, only able to press your bloodstained hands to your ears and scream.

**> Eridan: Wake up**

You claw yourself from sleep, your pusher pounding in your chest and your throat raw. You wonder if you were screaming. You hope not.

Climbing out of bed shakily, you shuffle into your bathroom and shower until the water goes cold, scrubbing at your hands as if it could wash away the night terror.

When you are dried and dressed, you’re shaking less and you count that as a win. You brush your hair back, running your fingers through the violet streak and sighing softly before you step into the rumpusblock, freezing for a moment when you see the figure curled up on the couch. It takes you a moment to remember the night before, your headache starting to come back as you remind yourself of your hive guest.

You don’t have time for this, sighing and shuffling into the nutritionblock to start preparing breakfast. The cabinets are starting to look a little bare, but you pull out the eggs and the last of the bacon, starting to cook those while you shove some bread into the toaster. At least you have today off, though you don’t know how much you’ll be able to actually get done with Sollux here. With a growl, you realize that him being in your hive means you should probably feed him, though there’s only really enough bacon and eggs for three people.

Oh well, toast is fine for you. A fin pricks as an alarm goes off, just as you’re setting the food onto plates. Just in time. You head back into your respiteblock for long enough to turn the noise off, opening the door to the twin’s block and flicking the lights on.

“Time to wake up,” you say as brightly as you can, pretending you aren’t exhausted for a few moments as they start to stir. Nikola lifts her head from her coon and glares at you for a moment before lifting her arms.

You sigh and step forward, helping her out of the coon and setting her on the slime mat next to it. Aphina almost tumbles out of his, catching himself in a cloud of sparks and staring at them in shock before grinning widely and setting himself on the ground. “Did you thee that?” he chirps happily, his fins flapping with pride. “Dad, I floated!”

Nikola claps a little, looking at him with wide eyes. “Do it again!”

“Careful,” you warn them, ruffling Aphina’s slime-slicked hair. “You don’t want to give yourself a headache. You two go get ready, okay? Breakfast is on the table.”

Nikola grinned, darting for the door. “I GET THE BATHROOM FIRST!”

“NO FAIR YOU GOT A HEADSTART!” Aphina complains, running after her.

You roll your eyes but smile to yourself, though it falls from your face when you step back into the rumpusblock. The figure on the couch is almost completely wrapped in a blanket, only a tuft of black hair and the tips of his horns poking out.

“Sollux,” you say, poking his shoulder. He doesn’t respond, even when you give him a small shake. “Come on, Sol. You’re not about to sleep on my couch all day. I have things to do.”

Still no response.

With a huff, you grab the edge of the blanket and yank it off of him. The force pulls him along with the blanket, making him tumble off of the couch with a yelp as he hits the floor. You watch him blink for a minute and take in his surroundings before his eyes narrow at you.

“Fuck you, ED.”

You frown and shush him, your hands on your hips. “Sollux Captor there are children in this hive. Watch your mouth.”

Sollux climbs to his feet, still scowling but quieter as he follows you to the nutritionblock. Your headache is getting worse, but you fill a mug with steaming coffee and ignore how it burns your tongue as you drink it. The leg of a chair scrapes the tile floor behind you as Sollux sits at the table and you slide a full plate in front of him before setting the other two at the remaining chairs.

He looks at the food, his eyebrows furrowing for a moment before his eyes meet yours. He hasn’t put his glasses on yet, confusion shining in eyes that were once so hard for you to read. You watch him search your expression as you lean against the counter with a fresh cup of coffee and a piece of toast, though the sound of running echoes through the block before he can say anything.

“No running in the hive,” you remind the children as they scramble into the nutritionblock. They slow a small bit as Nikki climbs into her chair and stares for a moment at the goldblood sitting across from her.

“You’re sitting in Daddy’s chair,” she says matter-of-factly, making you chuckle into your coffee as Aphina takes his seat.

Sollux pauses, a piece of bacon sticking out of his mouth as he glances at you, narrowing his eyes when you make no attempt to hide your amusement. You set your mug on the counter with a soft _clink_ , balancing your toast over the rim as you open the thermal hull.

“It’s fine, Nikki. Just eat your breakfast. Milk or juice?”

She frowns at Sollux for another moment before beaming at you and crowing, “Juice!”

“Me too,” Aphina chimes in, his mouth half full of eggs.

You almost scold him, but sigh and let it go as you fill two glasses with orange juice and place them in front of them. “Sollux, do you want some coffee?”

He looks a little startled, taking a moment to swallow his food before answering. “…thure. But no- “

“No cream and just a bit of sugar,” you rattle off, already halfway through making the cup. “I remember. I’d offer you one of those horrid energy drinks, but unfortunately I don’t have any.” He pauses before taking the mug from you, his eyes meeting yours for a long moment. You hold his gaze coolly, picking up your toast and taking a bite.

His expression is almost impossible to read, something between curiosity and concern that you don’t quite understand. You don’t know if you want to, taking a long drink of coffee to avoid meeting his eyes again. Part of you expected him to disappear by now, but it doesn’t seem like he’s going anywhere at the moment.

You…aren’t exactly sure how you feel about that.

A sudden sound wrenches you from your thoughts, making everyone in the room jump. Sparks dance across the table from all three psions, Nikki’s cup slipping from her hands and cracking against the floor. Aphina’s fins are flared in alarm, his eyes wide and his hair standing on end as Sollux yanks his palmhusk from his sylladex and stands.

“I need to…” he trails off and gestures to the device, which is still pinging insistently. You shoo him from the block, grabbing a roll of paper towels from the counter to clean up the spilt juice. He leaves quickly, tapping away at the screen.

Nikki tugs on her violet lock, glancing at the spill. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine,” you assure her, handing her a new cup of juice. She takes it carefully, setting it on the table and starting to finish her breakfast.

They both finish by the time you have the floor clean and you dump the cracked cup and paper towels into the trash as they put their dishes in the sink.

Your pusher is still pounding in your chest, your fins barely kept from flaring as you mull over who would be messaging Sollux so insistently this early in the day. Of course, you don’t know who even knows he’s here, and you know better than anyone about the need to just…move that may have brought him here. Perhaps he’d just vanished on them.

As Aphina and Nikola put on their shoes, you cross the rumpusblock to Sollux. He looks up, his expression just apologetic enough to soften yours.

“Everythin okay?” you ask, watching as he sighs and looks back at the screen, looking an add mixture of guilty and annoyed.

“Yeah,” he mutters, shoving his palmhusk back into his sylladex.

“Damage control?” you guess, smirking when he bares his fangs at you. “I have to take the kids to school. Are you coming with us? I’m not sure how comfortable I am leaving you at my hive.”

“Becauthe I’m totally going to trash the plathe,” he grumbles, swapping to the same outfit he was wearing yesterday. You scrunch up your nose, but you’re already pushing it timewise, so you’ll deal with that later.

Aphina has his headphones on when you get the door, both of them already wearing their glasses. The four of you step out into the hall and you lock the door. Sollux looks toward the elevator, but instead you walk the opposite direction and pull open the door to the staircase. He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just wave at him to follow you as you climb the narrow stairs to the roof. Gravel and concrete crunch under your shoes as you step into the cool air, the sky a dark gray with the slightest bits of light creeping through as the sun begins to peek over the horizon.

“What are we doing up here? Or doeth your building have a thchool on the roof?” he says sarcastically, glancing at you.

You roll your eyes and scoop your children up. “I don’t have a vehicle and their school is too far to walk,” you say simply, your wings unfurling behind you. For all you tried to avoid your godhood, the wings were useful as hell. Without the bright as hell Godtier pajamas the wings didn’t draw too much attention.

“You carry both of them?” he asks, raising an eyebrow. You glare at him, holding them a little closer to you.

“I used to take down sky whales,” you almost growl at him. “I’m strong enough to carry them.”

He raises his hands, palms toward you placatingly, and shrugs a little. “I wath jutht going to athk if you wanted any help.”

You open your mouth to refuse but stop and sigh inwardly. It was your instinct to try and do things yourself, but if he was offering to make things a bit easier…

“Nikola? Would you be okay flying with Sollux?”

Sollux looks surprised, but thankfully keeps his mouth shut so you aren’t tempted to kick him off the roof. Nikola glances at him. “He can fly? Does he have wings too?!”

“Er…”

“Yeth,” Sollux cuts in, letting his wings emerge with a burst of golden glitter. They’re gone almost as quickly, though, replaced by a cloud of sparks that lifts him from the roof. “But I jutht uthe my thionicth.”

She claps excitedly and reaches for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and giggling at the lights dancing around them. “Can I fly with my sparks too?”

Sollux balances her on a nonexistent hip, glancing at you before nodding a little. “When you’re older. Your thionicth aren’t thtrong enough to hold you yet.”

“Fin floated this morning!”

“Imprethive,” Sollux says, tilting his head a little. “I could float a little at your age, but it gave me a headache.”

You clear you throat and flutter your wings enough to leave the ground, a little aware of the violet glitter floating in the air around you. Sollux glances at you and gestures for you to lead the way, though you’re pretty sure he’s rolling his eyes while doing so.

Ignoring that, you take off from the roof and rise toward the clouds for a moment. Sollux stays at your side, Nikola clinging tightly to his chest. Aphina buries his face in your sweater as you fly, almost falling asleep on the fairly short trip.

What would have been close to an hour walking is only a ten-minute flight, even though you land about a block from the school and walk the final distance. Aphina clings to one hand, though he insists on walking after you land, and reaches his other arm towards Sollux. Nikola is perfectly content to be carried, sparks helping Sollux carry her with one arm as his now free hand takes Aphina’s.

At the front of the school building is a carapacian woman in a colorful dress, smiling brightly at the group as they approach. “Good morning, Mr. Ampora!”

“Mornin, Mrs. Paint,” you greet her, giving Aphina and Nikola a quick hug each before they run into the building. She looks at Sollux, her eyes immediately shining with recognition.

“Good morning to you too, Mr. Captor.”

Sollux’s eyes widen a little, but he clears his throat and nods a little in greeting.

You chuckle a little, wrapping a hand around Sollux’s wrist and waving goodbye to the woman. “I’ll see you this afternoon. Have a good day.”

She returns the wave as you pull the psion back down the sidewalk. The grocery store isn’t too far of a walk from here and the list you’ve been making for the past week is sitting in your pocket, the paper making a faint crinkling noise with every step.

“Who wath- how- “Sollux fumbles behind you, pulling his arm out of your grip as he falls into step beside you.

“She’s a Prospitian from the Medium,” you say quickly, fixing your hair from where it had gotten mussed in the wind. “She’s technically from the game, like the Mayor, but she just wanted to keep more to herself. She’s not the kid’s teacher, but she keeps an eye out for them.”

He nods a little, more to himself than anything, and you take the opportunity to ask him something.

“What was that all about earlier?”

His confused look prompts you to specify, though you make a point to sigh heavily and roll your eyes before doing so.

“With your palmhusk.”

He grimaces, not looking at you. “Like you thaid, damage control.”

“Who’d you manage to piss off?” You think you sound casual. You’re trying to, at least.

The grimace deepens. “I may have fallen athleep without tell anyone where I wath,” he mumbles.

You snort a little, earning a glare from him. “I thought so.”

“Oh, fuck off.”

Another ping makes him flinch, pulling out the device again and looking at the screen. “I thwear… FF ith going to give herthelf a pusher attack. I told her I’m fine.”

“Yeah, well fine for you can mean anything from you’re safe to you’re surviving on no sleep and three cans of caffeine,” you huff, trying to hide your wince at her name. You only spoke to her once since you woke up, apologizing and disappearing before she could reply. It didn’t take a genius to figure out she was avoiding you in the bubbles, no doubt she would want the same here. At least now you didn’t have to worry about running into her. Still…the thought of her made your pusher hurt. “…how is everyone?” Your voice is almost quiet enough to be inaudible, but the look Sollux gives you tells you he heard.

“…FF and AA got together about a thweep ago,” he starts, his voice cautious as you flinch. “I live with them becauthe according to them I ‘can’t be truthted to be on my own’.”

“Are they wrong?” you ask, pretending that your voice isn’t watery. You’re the one who left, you have no right to get emotional about anything he says.

“Eat a bulge, ED,” he huffs at you. “Um…well you’re not the only one with wrigglerth, actually.”

“Really?” That catches your attention, your fins perking.

“Yeah. At the latht meetup, KN and Rothe showed up with a jade grub from the cavernth. KK and DV have two dethendantth from the mothergrub, but I’ve only met them onthe.”

“Of course, Kar would be a lusus,” you mumble, your fins flicking with interest. “Anyone else?”

He stares blankly ahead for a moment. “I think thomeone found a cherub egg and gave it to Callie, but I don’t really…”

“Keep up with anyone aside from like, three people?”

“You thay that like it’th a bad thing,” he huffs, but you can see the smile fighting its way to the surface.

“Have you…told her anything?” you ask after another silence, looking at the ground.

“Who?”

“Fef,” you clarify, the name almost catching on the knot building in your throat. “You said she was the one hasslin you earlier.”

Sollux frowns a little, quickening his pace to try and see your face. “I already thaid I wathn’t going to tell anyone.”

“And?”

His frown turns into a scowl. “No. I jutht thaid I wath figuring thingth out.”

You walk in silence for a bit, finally reaching the store. He starts floating at some point, making himself useful and grabbing things off of the higher shelves for you.

“…how long are you going to stay?” you ask as the cashier rings your stuff up, your voice quiet. Sollux doesn’t answer until you’re outside, the bags floating between the two of you.

“FF will have a fit if I’m not back by the end of the week,” he huffs, staring up at the sky as you start the journey home. “But…I can come back. If you’re not going to kick me out, that ith.”

You purse your lips and look at the sidewalk. “As long as it’s just you. The kids seem to like you and…like I said before you can probably help more with psionic stuff than I can.”

You pretend not to see him smile, ignoring the way your pusher flutters at the sight. He’s not here for you and you’re lucky he’s even here at all. Now’s not the time to start pining like some lovesick romcom star.

Suddenly, you find yourself a few feet above the ground, yelping and glaring at Sollux. “What the fuck? Put me down, Captor!”

He looks like he’s considering it, but smirks at you and sticks his split tongue out at you through his teeth for a moment. “Nah. You really are thlow.”

You find yourself held princess style in thin arms, tucked against a warm chest. “Sol don’t you dare- “you cut off as he darts into the sky, your shopping bags following close behind. “Sollux Captor, put me down! I can fly on my own!”

“Mhm,” he hums, but makes no move to let you go. Eventually, you cross your arms and stop protesting, ignoring the heat that floods your cheeks. He drops you as soon as he lands on the roof of your building, leaving you in a heap on the gravel. You glare at him and growl, snatching a few bags out of the air and storming down the stairs into the building.

He follows you, snickering like the asshole he is but carrying the rest of the bags. Once they are on the counter of your nutritionblock, he makes no attempt to help put them away, instead perching on the table as if it were a seat and watching you put everything into place.

“…I never thought you would end up ath the rethponthible one,” he mutters, making you chuckle.

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’ve been responsible since I was a grub.”

He stares at you for a moment. “What?”

“Well…I had responsibilities. But it’s pretty much the same thing.”

“What responsibilities?” He sounds honestly confused. “Aside from FLARPing and plotting against the land dwellers?”

You pause, frowning at him. “I hunted for Fef’s lusus, to keep her fed and quiet.”

He blinks, looking thoughtful for a moment as you finish putting things away. As you start for your block, intending to get the laundry together, a hand on your arm stops you.

“Well, Mr. Rethponthible,” he says, “are you going to eat real food?”

You pull your arm from his group. “What are you talking about, Sol? I ate this morning.”

“Coffee and a piethe of bread doethn’t count.”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” you huff, trying again to walk away. Psionics block your path this time. “I have things to do, Sollux. I don’t have time to cook.”

“Then don’t,” he says with a shrug. “Let’th go thomewhere.”

“That costs both time and money that I don’t have- “

“I’ll pay.”

You stare at him, your fins fluttering curiously. “…why are you being so insistent about this?”

“Well…it wath your wriggling day yethterday, wathn’t it?”

It takes you a moment to register what he’d said, your eyes widening as you realize he’s right. You missed your own wriggling day.

His laughing pulls you from your shock to glare at him, but his hand is held out to you.

“Tho…are you coming?”

You stare at the outstretched hand for a moment, something warm settling in your chest as you reach out and take it.

The laundry can wait an hour or two.

**> Sollux: Woo the fish **


	5. Chapter 5

**> Sollux: Woo the fish**

What?

You’re not wooing anyone! Absolutely no wooing going on here. Just a friend taking a friend to lunch since apparently the idiot forgot his own gogdamned wriggling day.

**> Sollux: Woo the fish**

You already said you’re not wooing anyone!

**> Sollux: Ignore the voices in your head and get back to ‘totally not wooing’ the fish**

You sigh heavily as that runaway train of thought finally runs itself off the tracks, crashing and burning and letting you get back to the matter at hand. That matter being that Eridan’s hand is currently in yours as he looks at you expectantly.

You had almost forgotten how cold his skin is until his freezing palm is pressed against your significantly warmer one, his hands just a bit smaller than yours. Your hand easily closes around his, your fingers reaching his wrist as you pull him out of the nutritionblock. Normally, this much contact would be annoying, but at the moment it’s…almost comforting. A physical reminder that he’s here that is making you forget the gaping hole behind your ribs more with every passing second.

Part of you chalks it up to being used to Eridan’s clinginess, though it had been so long, but the other smugly tells you that you’re just as touch-starved as he is. You don’t have too much time to think about it, because you aren’t even halfway to the front door when the very tips of his claws dig into the skin of your hand as he stops.

You pull your hand away with a sharp hiss, looking at your palm. No skin has been broken, but that doesn’t stop you from glaring at him, whatever affection you’d felt in the recent past beginning to dwindle.

“What the fuck wath that about?” you demand, watching as his lip curls up a little and he very obviously looks you over.

“If we’re goin to go anywhere, you’ve got to change.”

You look from your outfit, a pair of loose jeans and a shirt with your sign across the chest. There’s a small hole in the armpit of your shirt and your jeans are fraying slightly around the heels, but you don’t see the problem with it.

“Why?”

His expression turns from disdainful to disgust, his fins flicking at you in annoyance. “Because you were wearin those yesterday, Sol,” he huffs. “Those jeans just look pitiful. Do I even want to know when the last time you washed them was? Or your hair?” He presses his lips together and sighs through his nose, your awkward silence more telling than words. “Don’t even think about answerin that, I’m sure the answer is ‘way too fuckin long ago.’”

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it, ED,” you snap at him. “It’th not like I carry an entire wardrobe with me. I wathn’t exthactly exthpecting to be away from hive thith long.”

“It’s called bein prepared, Sol. Just…go take a shower and I’ll see what I have.”

You look at him pointedly. “I don’t know if you’ve notithed, but I’m pretty thure your thtuff won’t fit me.” He’s a few inches shorter than you and for as skinny as you are, your shoulders are broader than his.

He rewards your statements with by scrunching up his nose in a way that you will never admit is cute, his arms crossing tightly across his chest. “I said I’ll figure somethin out, Captor. The shower is right down the hall. You can use my shampoo, it’s in the medicine cabinet.” Before you can say anything else he storms into his room, his fins flapping with irritation.

You almost laugh but are able to control yourself. No need to piss him off more if you don’t want to get kicked out.

You’re halfway through the shower, steam obscuring most of the block, when you realize that Eridan somehow got you to do something that Feferi’s been bugging you to do for a week now. You’d been restless and even less motivated to actually take care of yourself than normal, your focus gripping to one thing at a time, but here you were washing your hair with coconut scented shampoo and making sure Eridan ate like some kind of responsible adult. The thought makes you snicker to yourself as you step out to dry off, wrapping the tile around your waist and glancing at yourself in the mirror.

It probably wasn’t good that you could see your ribs, though they weren’t as prominent as they had once been. Your eyes glowed faintly, looking almost too big on your thin face, your fangs almost poking past your lips. You screwed up your face and stuck out your split tongue at the mirror, jumping and almost biting your tongue when there was a knock at the door.

You slide your glasses back onto your face, opening the door. Eridan’s cheeks flush bright violet, his fins folding down as he looks away. “These are too big for me, so they should fit,” he says quickly, shoving a bundle of clothes into your arms and closing the door.

Looking down, you realize the bundle isn’t as bulky as you expect. Unfolding it, you find…socks and a pair of black jeans. They do fit, aside from being a little shorter than you’re used to around your ankles, though maybe the fact that they won’t drag behind your heels will keep them from fraying. You dry your hair as thoroughly as you can, running your claws through it as you exit the block.

“ED, if you wanted to thee me shirtleth that bad you could have jutht…” you trail off as you step into the rumpusblock and see him with a black shirt on the coffee table, fanning it with glittery violet wings.

He looks up, jumping a little and grabbing the shirt. “I was just tryin to make sure it was dry,” he huffs, handing it to you more carefully than he’d done for the other clothes. A bit of color catches your eye, bringing your attention to the golden symbol painted over the left breast of the collared shirt.

“I hadn’t put mine on it yet,” he explains, fiddling with the bottom of his own shirt. You notice that he changed, wearing tight black jeans and a loose, long sleeved blouse with a violet scarf. His symbol is stitched into the cuffs of the shirt, and it looks like he styled his hair. “I didn’t think you’d want to go without your sign,” he continues, almost mumbling now.

“Thankth,” you say, pulling it over your head. The shirt is a bit tight around your shoulders, but you can deal with that. “There, I’m clean. Are you happy now?”

He snorts, brushing past you to open the front door. “Exceedingly. Shall we head out?”

“We shall,” you mock, sweeping out the door. He snickers behind you and you try not to let him see the way that makes you smile as he locks the door behind you. “Ith there anywhere good nearby?”

“And here I thought you were the one with a plan.” The smirk on his face makes you roll your eyes as you follow him to the elevator. “There’s a pretty nice seafood place not too far from here.”

“Alright, lead the way.”

“What? No complaining about seafood?”

You roll your eyes. “I’m thorry if I wath trying to be _polite_. Thith ith your wriggling day lunch after all.” You don’t want to admit that you’ve acquired a taste for seafood since waking up on this planet, which Feferi had found both strange and exciting, since it meant she could drag you to fish markets with her.

He smiles a little, though he isn’t looking at you and you don’t even know if he realizes he’s doing it. You’re almost tempted to take his hand again, but you don’t. Instead, you speed up just a bit, making use of your longer legs to keep pace with him.

“I could probably fly uth there fathter than walking.”

“Well sometimes walking is nice,” he says simply, taking a deep breath of the cool air around you. This city is closer to the coast than where you live, so there’s not really snow around but the air is crisp enough to burn at your lungs.

Eridan looks fine, his scarf covering his gills, but you can’t help but wonder if it’s enough. “Aren’t your finth cold?” you ask.

He pauses, glancing at you curiously. “…a bit. I’m a little more accustomed to this planet’s weather by now so I don’t need as many layers. Besides, it doesn’t get quite as cold here.”

You nod a little, fiddling a little with the ends of your sleeves. Most of the people on the sidewalk ignore you, though a few of them greet Eridan as you make your way down the street. “You know all thethe people?”

“Ah…sort of? Most of them are regulars at the café so they know me. We aren’t close or anything, but they’re friendly. A few of them have kids in the same class as Nikki and Fin.” He shrugs, giving a friendly wave to one man’s greeting. “…as far as I know, none of them have figured out who I am yet. It’s nice…to get a fresh start. To have people know me for… who I am instead of what I did.” He’s looking at the ground now, his brow furrowed. You want to tell him that it’s okay, that no one will hold the Game against him…after all, look at GZ and VK. Hell, Meenah culled her whole session and she hasn’t been outcasted yet. But you don’t, because even in your head it sounds like an empty promise. You can’t promise that anyone else will give him a second chance, even if you’re pretty sure they would.

So, you do the next best thing, you distract him. “Are we almotht there?” you ask, crossing you legs in the air and floating along next to him. He rolls his eyes at your antics, but you swear that you can see the slightest hint of a smile twitching his lips.

“It’s at the end of this block,” he tells you, walking a little faster. He reaches a hand hesitantly out to you, mimicking what you had done in the nutritionblock earlier. You take it, your hand engulfing his once again.

“You have such tiny handth,” you tease, because no one can claim that you aren’t an asshole.

He glares at you, his fins flared slightly, but he doesn’t let go of your hand as he walks, so you let yourself be dragged behind him like the world’s scrawniest balloon.

The restaurant is smaller than you expected, but cozy. The hostess’s eyes light up when she sees the two of you, a bright smile appearing on her face that doesn’t look at all fake.

“Afternoon, Dan!” she chirps. She’s a human with ridiculously long blonde hair that’s pulled into an equally long ponytail.

Eridan, to your surprise, smiles back warmly. “Good afternoon, Ruby. How’s Liz?”

“She’s doing fine.”

“Is she back in school yet?”

“Yes, finally. I was scared she was never goin to get over that flu. How are Nikki and Fin?”

“They’re good. Hopefully the day goes well.”

“That’s always the goal,” she grins, a mischievous look in her eyes as she looks at you. “And who is this?”

“This is Sollux,” Eridan says, pulling you forward a bit. You set your feet back on the ground and give an awkward wave of greeting. “He’s an old friend of mine.”

“Oh?” her eyebrows raise a little and she smirks a little at him, though Eridan rolls his eyes.

“No, Ruby. We’re just havin lunch.”

“Mhm.” She grabs two menus. “Right this way.”

She leads you to a booth towards the back of the restaurant, setting the menus down and giving Eridan a quick wink before she leaves.

He rolls his eyes again, but you don’t have any time to ask what her deal was before a waiter shows up to take your drink orders. After he leaves, you start to look over the menu. There’s quite a few things that sound good, though you settle on the fried fish plate before looking over at Eridan. He seems more than a little interested in the window next to the table, not having even glanced at the menu.

“Tho…what wath that all about?” you finally ask, breaking the silence.

“Her daughter goes to school with Nikki and Fin. I knew she’d been out of school for about a week, so I was just checking in.”

“And the end there?”

Eridan sighs, laying his head on the table for a moment. “She…she’s nice and she has the best of intentions but…”

“But?”

“She keeps tryin to set me up with friends and coworkers of hers. She…probably thinks that we’re on a date right now,” he admits.

You freeze for a moment, studying the way violet is coloring his face. “…Thet you up?”

“Like…she introduces me to people she thinks I might like or tries to set up blind dates.”

“Have you ever… gone on one?”

He shrugs. “A couple. Nothin ever comes of it, but sometimes it’s just better to humor her. Maybe if I just let her think this is a date, she’ll back off a little.” The last part is mumbled, but he doesn’t really seem bothered by her meddling.

“Thoundth kinda like NP.”

He laughs a little, more air than sound escaping him. It’s entirely more endearing than a laugh should ever be. “Yeah, I suppose. She’s nice, though.”

The waiter returns with your drinks and asks if you’re ready to order. You glance at Eridan and nod, handing your menu to the man.

“I jutht want the fried fish platter.”

“Alright, sir. What side would you like with that?”

“Er…frieth.”

He nods and writes the order out before looking at Eridan.

“I’d like a grilled salmon fillet with a side salad. No dressing. Thank you.”

The waiter nods again and records it, taking his menu as well and assuring you that the food would be out soon. Eridan looks at you as soon as he’s gone, his expression unreadable but his fins are pricked with curiosity. You wonder if anyone else can read them this easily, or if you’re just good at it.

“I didn’t know you ate fish, Sol,” he finally says.

“I…I do thometimeth,” you shrug. “I never really tried it before thith planet, but it’th not bad.”

He’s quiet for a few moments, but he gives you a quick smile that you hope means that silence was good.

“So…what have you been up to?” he asks a little awkwardly, twirling his work between his fingers.

“The thame ath alwayth,” you shrug. “I code too much and eat too little.”

“You don’t work at all?”

“Thometimeth I do coding jobth but I mothtly jutht program shit for fun. I don’t really need the money.”

You watch him wince and wonder what you said.

“Tho…why _do_ you have a job? You have the thame fundth ath the retht of uth.”

He grimaces and you briefly regret asking him about it. “I didn’t really earn any of that. I might have helped with our game, but not the one that made this universe. I…kinda just wanted to prove that I could survive on my own, without relying on anyone. And then I found out about Nikki and Fin and it just…made more sense to stay where I was.”

You almost ask why he didn’t just come back, or at least tell you when he found out about the kids. He’s staring intensely at the table, though, and you decide that’s a conversation for another time. You don’t want to push to hard and make him shut down.

It isn’t long before plates are set in front of you, Eridan’s eyes brightening as he looks at the pink slab of fish set on a bed of greens, though he gives your plate a disdainful look.

“What?” you ask, stabbing a breaded piece of fish with your fork and taking a bite. This place really was good.

“I can’t believe you would do that to the fish,” he huffs, cutting a piece of his meal off.

“Well, technically I didn’t do it. The rethtaurant did,” You say earning a scowl.

“You know what I mean. Eating it like that just covers up the taste of the fish. It’s practically disgraceful, covering it in fat and acting like it’s the same.”

“And I gueth yourth ith better?”

He gestures to his plate, looking smug. “This is how fish should be eaten…I mean unless you just eat it raw. But most places won’t serve uncooked fish unless it’s sushi.”

You grimace. “I might be a little more open to fish, but I’m not eating it raw.”

“It’s fresher that way,” he argues. “And considerably more convenient when you’re hunting than going back to shore to cook it. But that’s not the point. Frying it takes the flavor out of it.”

“I think it adds flavor,” you said, just for the sake of arguing. You don’t really care all that much either way, but he’s taking this adorably seriously.

“But it covers up the actual flavor of the fish.” He waves his fork at you, not having eaten the bite of fish yet. You smirk a little and lean forward, catching the fork and eating the fish that’s on it. Eridan pulls the fork back too late, his expression almost offended. You barely keep yourself from laughing, something that would undoubtedly end badly with your mouth full.

“Hmm…it ith pretty good,” you admit, starting to eat your own food again.

“You- I-,” he stutters and stares at you, his fins fully flared. “You can’t just take my food! Weren’t you the one complaining about how I didn’t eat enough this morning?”

You shrug but hold out your own fork. “Want thome?”

He looks like he’s about to protest, or tell you to fuck off, but instead of either of those he just grabs your hand and pulls it close enough for him to take the bite. His face is even brighter violet than earlier, but he tries to hide it behind a grimace.

“It doesn’t even taste like fish,” he grumbles as he goes back to his own meal. More than once you catch him stealing fries from your plate, but you let him. The silence around you doesn’t feel awkward at all, instead feeling familiar and almost comfortable as you eat. He finishes before you, probably part of the reason he starts stealing your fries but seems perfectly content to let the silence persist.

The waiter takes your emptied dishes and you see Eridan start to pull out his wallet. Psionics pluck it from his hand, much to his annoyance, and hold it just out of reach as you hand a card to the waiter.

“I’m perfectly capable-“

“You thaid you didn’t have the money to wathte.”

“This place isn’t that expensive,” he insists, though his voice is getting quieter.

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem for me to pay,” you say pointedly.

He scowls at you, though that fades into surprise as a fancy looking sundae is set in front of you.

“We didn’t-“ Eridan tries to protest, though it dies in his throat as he catches the eye of someone across the room.

You follow his gaze and see Ruby giving him a double thumbs up with a wide smile. He sighs and glances at the dessert.

“Do you want any?”

You watch him pick up a spoon and shrug before picking up the other one. “I thuppothe. What’th thith about, anyway?”

He flushes for a third time during the meal alone, not looking at you.

“ED?”

“It’s…a popular thing for couples to get for dessert. It’s supposed to be romantic or somethin…” You glance at Ruby and smirk a little.

“You thaid if she thinkth we’re a couple she might back off?”

“Maybe? What does that have to do with anythin-“ he cuts off when you hold a spoonful out to him, scowling at you. “Why?”

“Becauthe it’th fun to meth with people.”

He sighs but takes the bite. He seems annoyed by the whole situation, glancing up at you. You hope he doesn’t notice how hot your face is getting. Gog, what’s wrong with you?

“You’re ridiculous,” he mumbles through the ice cream. “And feeding someone you’re on a date with is a stupid trope. What’s romantic about eating?”

You shrug, devouring your half of the bowl quicker than he does. He finishes up, the check long since returned, and you two stand. Ruby waves goodbye excitedly, a gesture Eridan returns in a much calmer manner.

You’re about halfway back to the building when a loud ringtone makes you shoot a few feet into the air. Eridan flinches a little, but quickly pulls out his palmhusk. His face quickly goes serious as he answers it.

“Hello?” He pauses, frowning. “Yes, this is he. What? I- no I understand. I’ll be there as quickly as I can.” He hangs up and puts his face in his hands with the deepest sigh you’ve ever heard.

“What’th wrong?”

“Aphina’s in the office at school. I’ve got to go figure this out.”

“…I can come with you, if you want.”

He stares at you, eyes wide. “Really?”

You shrug and nod. “Thure. I mean, thupport and all.”

He looks a little relieved, but the expression is gone too quickly for you to tell for sure. “Alright. We have to get to the school quickly.”

You nod and immediately scoop him up, shooting into the air. He yelps, but otherwise doesn’t protest. His arms wrap around your neck, his fins fluttering with worry. You want to comfort him, but you have no clue what to say.

You land outside the school and he leads you inside, the office just past the front door. The secretary looks up, looking coolly at Eridan.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Ampora,” she says, waving toward a door at the back. “They’re expecting you.”

He nods and pulls you along behind him as he opens the door. Aphina and another child are both sitting in chairs too big for them, two parents standing behind the other child. Aphina looks up, looking a little guilty but mostly pissed off. His headphones are on, but his glasses are off.

“What happened?” Eridan demands, his voice containing an authority you’ve never heard from him.

“Welcome, Mr. Ampora,” the principle, a short carapacian, greets. “I was just about to explain. Your son pushed another child off of the jungle gym using his psionics.”

Aphina opens his mouth to protest, but the principle shushes him. “Luckily, the other child wasn’t hurt, but as you know our district as a zero-tolerance policy on fighting.”

Eridan nods sharply, a worried look in his eyes.

“As a result of this incident, I have no choice but to suspend both students for two days.”

“What?” the other child’s mother demands. “My son was a victim of these powers! Why should he be punished?”

“Becauthe he pulled Nikki’th fin!” Aphina blurts.

The principle nods. “He hurt another student.”

“And we’re just going to trust the word of this-“

“Are you calling my children liars,” Eridan hisses, his eyes dark. You know humans and carapacians and hell even trolls native to this planet don’t have the same instincts, but everything in your body is screaming ‘ANGRY HIGHBLOOD WATCH OUT!’

“I-“

“Other students witnessed the event as well,” the principle continues.

She finally shuts up, picking up her child and striding out of the office. Aphina slides out of the chair and reaches his arms up toward Eridan. You can see him calm slightly and scoop him up, glancing at the principle.

“I’m sorry about this,” Eridan said, his voice sounding surprisingly level considering how close he’d been to a rage. “I’ll talk to him and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Walking out of the office, he stops at the secretary’s desk again. “I’d like to sign Nikola Ampora out early.”

She glances up at him and nods, calling her to the office. She runs into the office and upon realizing that Eridan is holding her brother she reaches toward you.

You carry her outside, the two of you flying back to the hivestem in almost complete silence. Once you’re back inside, Eridan sets Aphina on the couch.

“Alright, Aphina. What happened?”

The yellowblood looks down and doesn’t answer.

“Fin…I’m not mad, I promise. I just want to know. You know you aren’t allowed to use your psionics at school.”

“I know…”

“So, what happened.”

“He grabbed Nikki’th fin and I wath too far away to help.”

“So, you sparked?”

He nods, sniffling. “I’m thorry…” his lisp gets thicker as tears well up and Eridan hugs him close.

“It’s alright. Just promise not to use them again, okay? If something happens, get the teacher.”

He nodded.

“Alright. You can go play.”

Aphina hopped off the couch, grabbing a book from the shelf against the wall in the rumpusblock and running to his block.

Eridan sighs heavily, putting his head back in his hands. “I don’t need this right now…”

You sit beside him, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“I have to take off work for the next two days, if Aphina’s going to be home,” he mumbles into his palms. “I’m already getting less hours this week, just because of how things fell and…”

He keeps grumbling, but as he does so an idea pops into your head.

“Hey, ED?”

“What?”

**> Sollux: Be helpful**


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! This story isn't dead! I'm sorry for the unintended hiatus! I was without internet for a while and since I've gotten it back between my other stories and some original works I've got this kinda got left behind and I am so sorry about that! I promise that the next one will not take nearly as long to come out and within the next few weeks I should actually have a good update schedule to make things easier!   
> This chapter contains a lot of biology and lore stuff, and i'm still not entirely happy with it but I hope you enjoy!

**> Sollux: Be Helpful**

Helpful isn’t something anyone could usually describe you as but here you are, watching Eridan scratch something quickly onto a scrap of paper and use a magnet shaped like a ‘W’ to pin it to the fridge. Upon closer inspection, you can see that it’s a series of numbers and a Trollian handle.

_cohesiveAntiquity_

You raise an eyebrow at him and he responds with a scowl.

“I’m only givin this to you in case of emergency,” he sneers, pulling a package of meat from the thermal hull and putting together a few sandwiches that go in a bag before both items are set back in the hull. “That will be fine for lunch,” he mumbles, mostly to himself at first before he raises his voice. “You can have one of those for lunch too. There’s fruit in the bottom of the fridge and chips in the cabinet.”

“What? Think I couldn’t make a thandwich?” You say, somewhere between offended and amused, the dial falling firmly to amused when he levels an irritated glare at you. You grin cheekily back and can already see him regretting his decision to let you stay. Not that you’re entirely sure why he hasn’t kicked you out.

“I’d rather keep my kitchen in one piece, Captor,” he half-hisses. “Speaking of food, don’t let Aphina snack on sweets all day. He likes apple slices, but he’ll try to use his psionics to get the cookies from the top cabinet if he can. I know he doesn’t go back for two days, but at least try to get him to do any work he has.” He counts out the points on his fingers, eyebrows furrowed as he looks at the ceiling. “There’s the television and we’ve got some DVD’s…and he’s got his books. If you want to get out of the apartment, there’s a park about a block away.”

You roll your eyes. Watching one kid can’t be that complicated. You’re brought back to the present by Eridan crossing the kitchen and making you meet his eyes. His nose is barely an inch from yours, but unlike the last time you were this close his eyes are blazing, and his lip is pulled into a snarl.

“Listen to me, you absolutely pathetic excuse for a deity,” he practically growls, close enough for you to feel the rumble in his chest. The points of his fangs are glinting in the dim nutritionblock light and an instinctive part of you is cowering. Your ears threaten to flick back, your chin tipping up to show your throat in a nonthreatening display, but you quickly reel it in and remind that part of your brain that, highblood or not, this is Eridan. You keep your expression annoyed as you put a hand on his forehead and push him to arm’s length.

“Yeah, yeah,” you grumble, watching him start to fume. “I’ve got thith. Calm your heft thackth.”

He raises a hand and swipes yours away before grabbing your shirt and dragging you off of the counter you’d been sitting on. He’s a few inches shorter than you, but you can’t help a short squeak when he pulls you to eye level.

“I will not calm my anything,” he snaps, the growl even more prominent now. “You will take this fucking seriously because if anything happens to him I will find out just how hard it is to kill a god.”

The thing is, you know he’s serious. This is the Eridan you’ve been missing for the past two days. This is the Eridan who will absolutely fuck up anyone who threatens the people he loves, the same fire that he faced down angels and lusii with. The same fire he faced you with.

You have no doubt that he’ll kill you if anything happens to his kid. Whether or not it’d be just is a different story, but not one that matters for now.

It’s almost a relief to see that anger, given how…mellow he’d seemed since you’d gotten here. He’d definitely changed, but he was still Eridan.

You take his hands and unhook his claws from your shirt, holding onto his wrists. “You don’t need to threaten me, you overdramatic douche. I am taking thith theriouthly and it’th going to be fine. I know you’d thtrangle me with my own intethtineth if anything happened.”

“Well, good,” he huffs, pulling his wrists from your grip and taking a deep breath. “Nikola has an after-school program. I’ll pick her up from that after work and be back to make dinner. Like I said, the number of the café and the school is on the fridge, as well as my new handle. And I swear to- well us that if you give it to anyone I will-“

“Kill me, yeah I get it. I’m not an idiot.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he shoots back.

You press a hand dramatically to your chest. “Rude.”

“Yeah, well if the shoe fits,” he shrugs. “I’m going to wake them up.”

You wave a hand at him and hop back onto the counter, digging your palmhusk from your sylladex. Feferi’s worried messages have tapered off since you assured her you were safe, and you haven’t even tried to touch Karkat’s wall of grey yet but you’re assuming that Feferi told him you were fine because he hasn’t messaged you this morning. However, as you scroll through your recent chats you pause.

You haven’t looked back at the chat since the night you came here, but maybe…

**> Sollux: Message-**

**> Psyche!**

You are no longer Sollux Captor, about to message a mysterious woman about mysterious things.

Instead, you are asleep, in the past, and more than a ways away.

Who is this mysterious new narrator?

**> Enter name**

You cannot currently enter your name, given that you are asleep. Even if you weren’t, you think you’d be a bit offended that your name was even in question. Wasn’t it well established who you were when you’d started that damned game so long ago?

This whole thing is quite silly, you think. Perhaps you should…

**> Rose: Wake up**

You suppose you can do that, since the universe deigned to ask you so politely. The day must begin as it is, and someone is firmly shaking your shoulder to let you know that beginning is now.

With a soft huff of breath, you open one lavender eye and peer up at the jade green ones of your wife. She, as always, greets you with a warm smile as the light glow of her skin illuminates the otherwise dark bedroom.

“Good morning, love,” she says softly, smiling against your lips when you lean up to give her a quick kiss.

“Good morning, ‘naya,” you say through a yawn as you sit up. She glides over to the closet and pulls her work jacket from it. Her sign is stitched over her left breast, her title of “The Caregiver” on the right. She is one of the more open Gods, a fact that helps in the caverns. Your own jacket does not bear your title, though most know who you are well enough to recognize you on sight.

You can tell she’s been up for a while, but this isn’t unusual. Aside from maybe Jade, you think Kanaya is about the most textbook definition of a ‘morning person’ you’ve ever met. At least she doesn’t try to drag you up at her ungodly waking hours. It makes you love her all the more.

“I made breakfast,” she says quickly, checking herself in the mirror once before looking back at you. “And coffee.”

You grin and wrap your arms around her waist, kissing her cheek. “Have I ever told you how much I love you?” you question teasingly, listening to her laugh of response before slipping away to get dressed yourself.

You aren’t going to the caverns today, you rarely do these days, so you leave that jacket at the back of the closet. Instead, you put on a pair of comfortable but nice jeans with warm boots and a sweater covered in Eldritch monstrosities Porrim had given you for Twelfth Perigees last year. You put on your Light earrings and slip on your usual headband before heading to the next room over. There is still one more person to get ready before the day can start.

The room is a nice size, with a bookshelf neatly tucked into the corner. Several beanbags are scattered throughout the room, along with stuffed animals. A cane is leaned against the side of the recupracoon, a pair of horns sticking up from the slime. They look a bit like Kanaya’s if both of hers had the hooked tip, the end of the hooks curled back into almost spirals.

You knock gently on the coon. “Aleryx,” you sing softly, watching the horns move as a head follows them out of the slime. His hair is slick with slime, but somehow still manages to hang into his face. His blank eyes stare at you, oddly seeming to meet yours despite their lack of sight.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbles before starting to slide back into the slime.

“If you go back to sleep then we can’t go to the park,” you remind him, and he stops his submerging to listen. “Elizah and Jessie will be there.” He perks up a little, seems to weigh his options, and then huffs a lungful of slime out before clambering over the side of his coon. You hover nearby to help if he needs it, but he doesn’t. He’s much more capable than some would give him credit for, grabbing his cane but barely seeming to need it as he rushes to the bathroom.

You had once spoken to Terezi and Sollux about how to help him, if the former could even pass on her extrasensory knowledge, but he hadn’t seemed to need the excess aid. Perhaps it was the familiarity of the house? Not that that explained how he managed to navigate other places, though you did worry about how he would manage when he started school next year.

He’s back before long and you help him get dressed in warm clothes, including a poofy jacket and a hat that covers his ears. He lifts him arms once he’s dressed, demanding to be picked up. You do so and balance him on your hip before carrying him downstairs and setting him at the table.

He seems to ‘stare’ at the table for a moment before reaching out and feeling for his fork and plate. Once he has his hands on both, breakfast goes smoothly while you and Kanaya discuss the plans for the day.

Breakfast doesn’t take long, Aleryx standing as soon as he’s done and trying to carefully balance his cup on his plate to take both to the sink. You watch him cautiously climb down from his chair and reach out to steady him. “It’s okay, sweetheart,” you tell him quickly, but he steps away from you as his eyebrows furrow.

“I can do it myself, Mama,” he insists quickly, walking over to the sink and standing on his tiptoes to drop them into the basin. You shoot a quick glance to Kanaya, who is giving him the curious look you both find yourselves with more and more often. Perhaps you’ll talk to Terezi again, although you’re certain he’s not using her extrasensory sight. Perhaps a latent sort of psionics?

Your painted nails tap the edge of your palmhusk and you make a mental note to contact Sollux later, not that you’re sure he would know anything about this. You aren’t worried about it exactly, just curious. You want to understand your son, to help him succeed the best you can.

He puts his hands on the edge of the table and follows it, grasping for his cane as he does so. Even though he’s so young, he’s been getting more and more adamant about being independent, but you silently nudge it towards where his hand is reaching.

Kanaya stands and sets her dishes in the sink before crouching next to Aleryx and attempting to tame his hair with her claws.

“Mom!” he whines, but doesn’t attempt to escape the grooming, only narrowing his blank eyes and shaking his head once she lets go. She gives him a soft smile and kisses his forehead before standing back up.

“Have fun today,” she tells him. “Don’t give your mother too much trouble, alright?”

He sighs heavily but smiles and hugs her legs. “I won’t. Love you, Mom.”

She tries to smooth his hair one more time. “I love you too.” Her eyes turn to you and you step closer to give her a quick kiss.

“Ew,” Aleryx complains from where he’s still hugging Kanaya. You glance down at him as he glares at the two of you. “I may be blind, but I can still hear just fine,” he grumbles, sticking out his tongue and making both of you chuckle.

You bend down and scoop him up, the three of you heading for the door.

“Have a good day, dear,” Kanaya tells you, pressing a final kiss to both your cheek and Aleryx’s.

“You too.” The two of you wave to her as she begins the rather short walk to the caverns before you turn and begin walking the opposite direction towards the park. The air was cool and crisp, but the sun shining down provided some warmth as you walked beneath bare trees. The ones along your street were a species from Alternia with smooth teal trunks and pink leaves that got about as big as your head. Those leaves were gone, of course, the last remnants of them shrunken and crumbled and brushed to the sides of the sidewalk. A few tree types you’re more familiar with from Earth A pop up among the Alternian ones, their branches similarly bare.

It’s only a few minutes into the walk when Aleryx pushes at your arms in an obvious demand to be put down. “I wanna walk!”

You set him on the sidewalk and take his hand, his other gripping his cane tightly. Although you had been made well aware of the fact that troll children were more independent than human children, it still felt like he was growing up so fast. Perhaps that was just how it felt to be a parent.

You still remembered the day you brought him home.

**> Rose: Be Past Rose**

You are now past Rose.

The caverns are large and, well, cavernous, and though you’ve had two years to get used to them it is still easy to get lost. Most of the other workers have gone home for the day, aside from the far fewer number that keep watch at night over the main cavern. You can see a light from the nursery on a small cliff, the one room that was bustling at all hours.

You watch as Kanaya steps out of the building, the glow making her stand out as her eyes sweep over the cavern floor. She pauses once she sees you and beckons to you, waiting for your nod before stepping back inside. It must be time to go home, unless something happens in the nursery in the few minutes it will take you to get there. Although you could fly if you chose to, you’d rather take the walk.

The cavern floor is vast, stretching to a series of cliffs of vastly varying sizes at all sides except for one that bore a calm underground lake. The surfaces were covered in a mix of eggs and grubs, far more than Kanaya had thought were in the Alternian caverns. Luckily, this planet made up for the massive population by having not only lusii, but also humans, trolls, and carapacians able to adopt them.

The Mothergrub was nestled in the middle of the cavern with an attendant at all times, eggs surrounding her until they hatched or were set in different areas. You mostly observe the grubs, taking any that seemed sickly to the nursery or even helping people and lusii look over the grubs.

You pick carefully around them, though you admit to losing yourself a bit in thought until you feel something weighing on your skirt. You take another step and feel the weight shift, finally looking down to see a grub clinging to you.

Its carapace is jade, its tiny legs gripping tightly onto the fabric of your skirt. It has its face hidden, squeaking loudly when you move to pick it up. The moment you touch it, a jolt of Light slices through your chest. It’s a feeling you’re familiar with, though you haven’t felt it in a long while. The feeling of a true vision, of using your powers although this time you hadn’t called on them.

You jump, almost dropping the grub in the process. He squeals and clings to your hand now, not letting go as you try to maneuver him to a more supported position. After a long moment he relaxes his grip and looks up at you, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. You cradle him gently and keep walking, your free hand brushing back his fluffy hair. In all the time you’d been in the caverns, you’d never given much thought to adopting a grub. After all, you were surrounded by them constantly. But this one…

The Seer powers…the Light swirling in your veins is telling you he’s different.

He finally opens his eyes, squeaking loudly and showing off a mouth of needle-sharp teeth. His eyes have no pupils that you can see, as is usual for grubs, but instead of his eyes being colored like his blood his are the same yellow of a pupated troll sclera and he seems to be looking past you.

He’s blind.

Your pace slows as you near the nursery. You could ignore your instincts, ignore the power that is screaming a vision into your brain and behind your eyes. There’s a part of you that wants to, the part of you that whispers that the Game isn’t done with you yet. That part of you is terrified that any visions you have are only proof that Game isn’t over, that it will never be. If you listen to the Game-given visions, if you take this grub, will you only be ensuring that the Game’s hold never leaves you?

You don’t notice the way your hands are shaking until the grub nibbles on your palm and when he squeaks at you again, curling up in the crook of your elbow to take a nap, you know your decision has already been made for you.

**> Rose: Go to the Park**

The park isn’t far from your home and when you get there you can see four figures standing near a bench. The tallest one spots you first and raises his arm in a wave, the bright sunlight glinting off of his shades. His almost white blonde hair is tucked under a black beanie with a red record on the front. A black hoodie is unzipped over some shirt bearing the logo of some band you’ve never heard of, paired with black skinny jeans and red converse. If you didn’t know he was a deity, you would have never been able to guess, though you assume he’d say the same of you.

The troll standing next to him follows his gaze, rolling his eyes dramatically as you approach. “Finally,” he grumbles, “what took you so long?” It’s a bit odd to not hear him cursing, but you understand why he’s refraining.

Once you’re close enough, two children run from the adults to greet you. They’re the same height and both clearly trolls, although it’s easy enough to see the human in them.

Kanaya had explained to you to benefit of mothergrubs on the meteor, then again once you were on this planet.

“Mothergrubs,” she had told you as she plucked a cerulean grub from a vat of slime, “were used on Alternia as a symbiotic way to regulate reproduction. With the vast amount of slurry per batch and the equally huge number of eggs, each egg would end up getting the majority of its genetics from a single troll, with the remainder made up of very minute amounts of other genes. With trolls being almost identical to their ancestors, it lessened the likelihood of mutations or strange combinations of powers and caste. The more evenly mixed a troll’s genetics are, the more likely there are to be mutations, or well…what the empire would consider mutations. Like a lowblood having chucklevoodoos or gills. Keeping the ‘mutants’ to a minimum also made it easier to eliminate those who did show up.” She had wiped a bit of goo from the ceruleans face and the grub opened her eyes, including the third one on her cheek. “Of course, since this planet has no such culling and the slurry batches are smaller, mutations are more common as well, but I would not say that is a bad thing.”

You had taken the grub from her and walked over to a sink to wash the slime from her hair. She had been ill but seemed to be recovering well. “I recall you saying something about alien DNA being involved in some mutations?”

She pulled an olive from the next pool of slime. “Yes, that also is a factor. Mothergrubs were not only chosen for their ability to keep genetics as the Empress wanted them, but also because the symbiotic relationship between trolls and them had developed in such a way that meant ‘troll’ was the default setting of sorts. If the Empress met a species with something she wanted, such as powerful psionics or increased strength, she could add some of their genetics to the slurry. In many cases, trolls hatching from that batch of eggs would carry some of those genes and, if they were lucky, they would give the troll the desired trait and eventually that would strengthen the species as a whole. There are even some psionic abilities that have only existed in trolls as a result of her direct influence with the Mothergrubs.”

“Didn’t that sort of thing take place with former Empresses?”

Kanaya’s brow furrowed. “Her Imperial Condescension was not the first Empress, but she did her best to erase the knowledge of those who came before her. I know that…Eridan used to raid ruined and old libraries during FLARP sessions to find whatever history he could, and any that related to my interests or to the caverns he would send me. From what I could tell, Mothergrubs evolved alongside trolls and we have had a similar relationship since recorded history, but before the Condescension it was far less regulated, as trolls also bore their own broods, most likely having kept that trait from before the symbiosis began. It seemed that the use of either method was about equal, though the latter, having genetics that were much closer to 50/50, was much more likely to produce mutations. Most likely, trolls had evolved their reproduction and that had tapered as the symbiotic bond formed over many generations. Of course, when _she_ took over she all but outlawed trolls bearing broods. She mandated the slurry contributions to reinforce the hemospectrum and weeded out those who did not fit her vision. Slowly, the fertility of trolls died off until the few fertile trolls left rested mostly in the higherblood’s.”

You had tilted your head. “Highbloods?”

She nodded. “Given that Lowbloods lifespans are so much shorter, the fertile trolls died off much quicker and the succeeding generations had fewer and fewer fertile trolls. On the other hand, Highbloods simply had longer lifespans and those with the ability could contribute to far more generations, so although it was not common, those who had it were most likely to be highbloods.” She had shrugged and given you a quick smile. “It is more common on this planet though. It helps that if the children have mutations they will not be culled, though of course there are always the people who simply submit slurry and request as little contamination as possible.” She patted the olive blood on the head and ran her hand over two eggs, the nest having a simple but familiar sign attached.

You’re pulled from your thoughts by a child’s voice shouting at you and you blink before focusing on your surroundings once again. Elizah is standing directly in front of you, her hands on her hips. She definitely takes after Karkat personality wise and she’s certainly as loud as him. She and her brother had horns that perfectly matched Karkat’s, her short hair just as fluffy as his but colored the same pale blonde as Dave’s. Her brother seemed to be color swapped in a way, his skin as pale as Dave’s while his hair is jet black. He is more reserved than his sister, even as young as he was, but he reminds you of every Strider you’ve ever met. Both children have Dave’s eyes though, their irises the same bright red of their blood. You can see Elizah’s clearly, but Jessie’s are hidden behind simple round shades.

“I said hi!” Elizah informs you loudly and you can’t help a chuckle.

“Good morning, Elizah,” you tell her.

“Where’s Aunt Aya?” She demands, looking around as if Kanaya is hiding somewhere.

“She had to be at work.”

Elizah sighs heavily, but you know why Kanaya is her favorite. You pull a small bag from your pocket and watch her eyes light up. Jessie’s do the same, though the effect is less obvious with his shades. The bag is full of small candies, which Kanaya began carrying when she’d realized how much the children liked them.

You look at Karkat and Dave, who look almost amused. Karkat waves a hand at you and you hand Jessie and Elizah one each. A small hand pats your arm to get your attention and when you look down you see Aleryx holding out his free hand.

“Me too,” he chirps, waving his hand insistently until you drop a candy in his palm.

Elizah purrs loudly as she eats hers, grinning at you and hugging your leg quickly before turning to Aleryx.

“Last one to the jungle gym’s a grub!” she shouts, somehow louder than before, taking off immediately. Her brother runs after her, but not before grabbing Aleryx by the arm and dragging him along.

Aleryx almost drops his cane but doesn’t seem too hindered. As you watch him, he stumbles over the small barrier. You jump and lurch toward them to help but pause as Elizah and Jessie both backtrack to make sure he’s okay. He brushes dirt from his pants and runs past them, skidding to a stop just before the jungle gym and reaching out to  feel and hold onto one of the bars.

“Hey!” you hear Jessie yell, his sister’s call of “No fair!” ringing out as well.

You breathe a little sigh of relief but can’t help the worry that still purses your lips. A shoulder bumping against yours makes you jump, and you glance over at Dave. He keeps his hands in his pockets as he glances at you.

“Yo, Lalonde, you ain’t a Space player,” he drawls. “Leave the spacing out shit to Jade and your wife, alright?”

“Don’t forget Porrim,” you reply quietly, watching the children scramble up the bars of the jungle gym.

“Damn, I don’t think anyone could forget Porrim,” he laughs, nudging Karkat. “Remember the last party?”

“You mean the one where she tried to force me and Kankri to ‘get along’?” the other grumbles. “You’d think coming back to life paired with like what, six years of getting actual fucking people to talk to instead of the same eleven would do something for how absolutely insufferable he is but fuck me sideways has he only gotten worse. And it’s not like we really have anything in common to talk about. I mean, even Reylon doesn’t get along with Elizah or Jessie. I blame Cronus. Not like being around an Ampora has done anybody any good but-“ He cuts off, looking at the ground with his brow furrowed. His irises have long since filled in bright red, the color burning with intensity as he glares at the concrete like it had insulted his lusus.

Dave shares a look with you before putting an arm around Karkat’s shoulders. “Babe, what’s up with you?” He pokes Karkat between the eyebrows, right where they met in their furrowing. “That’s like the third time you’ve mentioned Ampora this week.”

Karkat shoves the hands away, snapping his teeth at Dave in a way you know is more show than anything. “Well, is it really that fucking ridiculous of me to think about it? It’s been what, two sweeps since that oozing sore on the backside of the universe fucked off to who knows where and none of us have heard a single thing? Hell, he could be dead for all we know and now Sollux is gone too! Feferi said she talked to him yesterday, but…” he trails off in a quick loss of steam almost uncharacteristic.

“He’s not dead,” you hear yourself say before thinking, making the two of them jump and look at you.

Dave’s eyebrow is above his shades, though he lowers them to look directly at you. Karkat just stares at you for a solid minute before speaking.

“Is this some Seer bullshit?”

You pause, focusing on the feeling in your chest. It’s the same feeling that you got when you first found Aleryx, the same feeling you’d had when you’d messaged Sollux a few days ago. You close your eyes and imagine the symbol emblazoned on your soul, imagine it sitting in your hands, in your mind. You look into it, and though no vision is entirely clear…

“I believe so,” you carefully tell them. “I don’t know exactly where he is, or why he hasn’t reappeared, but I know he’s alive. Sollux is too, though his Doom obscures him somewhat. Ampora’s powers do as well, but I believe that is because he, intentionally or subconsciously, is obscuring himself.” You open your eyes again and look at Karkat. “I’m sure they’re both fine.”

Before Karkat can reply, though you can see a clear mix of worry and questioning in his eyes, you all hear a yelling coming from the jungle gym.

“Caddie!” Elizah shrieks, jumping down from far too high on the playground equipment. It doesn’t even slow her as she takes off for a small group heading toward you.

“Elizah!” Karkat calls, worry sharp in his tone. “Be careful!”

She slows a bit at that, stopping closer to you. “Sorry, Dad!”

Jessie takes the opportunity to catch up, seeming to concentrate for a second before he’s suddenly about three feet in front of where he was. You hear Dave curse.

“Jessie-“

The other attempts another flash step and stumbles halfway through, going down hard on the concrete of the sidewalk. Dave flashsteps to his side without seeming to think about it, scooping him up immediately.

“Jessie are you okay?”

Jessie holds up scraped palms and you assume his knees aren’t much better off. Fat tears spill from under his glasses, though he quickly tries to wipe them away. Dave rocks him and rubs his back, calming him in a quiet voice.

“It’s okay, little dude,” he assures him as Karkat rifles through his sylladex beside them. “I know it’s gotta suck, but you’re okay. Just let Dad find the kit and we’ll get ya patched up. Is it just your hands?”

Jessie sniffles loudly and shakes his head, pointing to his knees.

“Alright, let me see,” he says, sitting on the bench and carefully rolling up the leg of Jessie’s jeans to look. The scrapes weren’t that bad, but the skin was broken with drops of candy red welling to the surface.

A blur of motion makes all of you jump as Roxy appears out of nowhere, her arms flying around Dave’s neck. “Davey! Aw, shoot, is Jessie okay?” Her hair is pulled out of her face, though you can still see that she’d dyed the tips a bright pink. She changed the color every few months, last time you’d seen her it had been a pale lavender.

She leans down and looks at Jessie’s knee, frowning. “Aww, hon, that looks like it hurt.” She stands back up and looks at the people still approaching. “Janey! Over here!”

Elizah is at Karkat’s side, who has a first aid kit open but is looking over at Jane. “Well, that’s just lucky,” he mumbles before holding out his arms to pick Jessie up. Jessie reaches out to him, and the troll scoops him up.

It takes Jane another minute to get there, but she immediately looks at Jessie’s injuries. “Oh, poor thing,” she says. “Can I see your hands?”

Jessie holds them out and Jane takes them in her own. The air around you feels warmer, smelling like the showers of springtime rather than the sharp, dead chill of winter. Jane’s hands radiate a bright green light, the vines of her Life powers curling in the air and making you happy that no one else is around.

After a moment the glow fades and Jessie’s scrapes are gone. “There, all better!” Jane chirps, ruffling Jessie’s hair. Karkat wipes the last of his tears away.

“Better?”

Jessie nods and looks at Jane. “Thank you,” he says politely before wiggling out of his father’s arms until Karkat set him on the ground.

“You can go play,” Karkat tells him. “But no more flashstepping. Okay?”

There’s a pause, but he finally nods. “Okay.” He runs toward his sister and Aleryx, who grin at him, all of them turning to look at the last people to arrive. Calliope is wrapped up more than the others, as is the young cherub in her arms. As soon as they get close, she sets her down and she runs to join the other children.

“Hey, Cadence!” Aleryx chirps and she smiles at them.

“Good morning, Aleryx! Is Jessie okay?” Her expression quickly turns worried, her speaking as careful and proper as ever. Though she’s the same age as the others, she’s a bit smaller, with swirls of lime green on her cheeks that match her eyes. She has a brother, but you’ve only met him once.

Jessie nods once, which seems to be good enough for Cadence. She smiles widely and the four of them run back to the playground.

“Good morning, Calliope,” you tell her, sitting on the bench beside Dave.

“Good morning,” she replies as Roxy wraps her arms around both you and Dave.

“Hey, Dave,” Roxy asks, not bothering to let go of either of you. “Did Karkitten say that Jessie was flashstepping?”

Dave lets out a heavy sigh as Karkat yells something about the nickname. You glance over at the children, pausing before you speak.

“I was wondering about that as well.”

“Yeah. I’ve noticed him doing it occasionally, but like…like I know _I_ was doing it at his age, but I don’t even think I should have been able to that early.” He ran a hand through his hair. Though he still has issues hiding behind his rants and jokes, he’s a lot more willing to rely on at least the people closest to him.

“Well, how’d you learn it so early?” Roxy asks, obviously before her brain can reach her mouth if her expression directly after is anything to go by.

Dave doesn’t exactly flinch, but you can see the way he stiffens. You’d be willing to bet that Roxy can too, if only due to her vast amount of time around Dirk.

“You don’t have to-“ Jane immediately starts as Roxy apologizes.

“Bro threw me off of the roof of our apartment,” Dave says quickly and the only reason you don’t recoil is because you already knew this. Still, the reminder makes anger flare in your chest.

“Oh, shit,” Roxy drags the sound out, hugging Dave tightly. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he huffs, trying to keep his face stoic as his hairstyle is ruined. “Old news, old planet. But I don’t know where he picked it up. I haven’t taught him it and Karbabe doesn’t know how to. Plus, I’m like ninety percent sure that Dirk wouldn’t be teaching my kid combat shit.”

“’Course not,” Roxy shrugs. “Maybe he’s just copying you?”

“Either way,” you interject. “You should probably teach him how to safely do it, so he doesn’t hurt himself.”

Dave nods, just the slightest incline of his head, and the soft sound of your phone drags your attention from the situation.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

“That Kanaya?” Dave asks, leaning on your shoulder. You turn the screen to him and hear him make a surprised noise. “Why’s Captor messaging you?”

“That fucking bulgebiter!” Karkat hisses, shoving his head into your space to look at the chat. “Why the fuck is he messaging you? Where is he?”

You huff and nudge both of them away with your elbows. “I don’t know, and if you two continue to crowd me I may not get to ask at all.”

Karkat scowls but backs off. “Tell him to message me.”

TA: iif you haven’t told anyone yet don’t.

TT: Well, that’s certainly an interesting way to start a conversation.

TA: becau2e iim known for my amaziing conver2atiion 2kiill2.

TA: ju2t don’t tell anyone.

TT: I am not even sure what I’m not supposed to be telling them.

TT: By the way, Karkat is demanding that I tell you to message him.

TA: 2hiit.

TA: ii 2hould probably do that.

TT: It would certainly stop him from worrying so much..

TA: iidiiot.

TA: ii told ff iim fine.

TA: diidnt 2he tell him?

TT: I think it has more to do with the fact that you vanished almost five years to the day of a certain someone’s disappearance

TA: …

TA: diid you know iid fiind hiim?

TT: I don’t know who you mean.

TA: bull2hiit.

TT: My visions aren’t that clear.

TT: But, I believe I might know who you’re talking about.

TT: By your language, and your failure to return, am I to assume you were successful?

TA: doe2 iit matter to you.

TA: iim not feeding you iinfo.

TT: I won’t ask for any.

TT: And I won’t tell anyone.

TT: Though you certainly could have requested it in a kinder manner.

TA: thank2 ii gue22.

TT: You’re welcome. Was there anything else you needed?

TA: why’d you me22age me iin the fiir2t place?

TT:…

TT: It just felt like what I was supposed to do.

TA: liike 2ome game bull2hiit?

TA: ugh.

TA: 2hiit.

TA: ii gotta go.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling tentacleTherapist [TT]

**> Sollux: Go**

You finally feel like yourself again, though you aren’t sure what that means. It’s not like you could be anyone else, but you’re still left with a weird feeling you hope doesn’t happen again.

Eridan has long since gone to work and while you’ve been on your phone, Aphina has stayed mostly in his room. You don’t really know much about this babysitting business, but when you’d checked on him, he was deep in a book that was bigger than his head and filled with pictures of all kinds of beasts. At least he was keeping himself busy.

Once the chat with Rose is over, you scroll through the messages you have from Karkat and wince. Wow…you’re…you’re not touching any of that.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: kk.

TA: calm your heft 2ack2.

TA: iim aliive.

TA: and al2o iim not readiing any of that.

CG: FUCK YOU!

CG: FUCK YOU RIGHT INTO THE EXTINCT GREEN SUN ALONG WITH EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR YOU LIVING PIECE OF SHIT

CG: WHERE ARE YOU?

TA: ii cant tell you.

CG: AOGNVAIHGVPOI

CG: OKAY I’LL BITE

CG: WHY CAN’T YOU TELL ME?

TA: becau2e

CG: AAGHGHHGHHFKLSJLL

CG: FUCK YOU

CG: I KNOW I SAY THAT A LOT

CG: BUT I MEAN IT THREE TIMES AS MUCH THIS TIME

CG: I’D SAY TWICE AS MUCH BUT YOU DON’T DESERVE IT

TA: look kk.

TA: a2 cute a2 your 2hiitfiit2 are.

TA: ii ju2t cant.

TA: iill bee home before the end of the week.

TA: 2o you and ff and aa can quiit worryiing .

CG: YOU’RE THE ACTUAL WORST

TA: aww thank2.

TA: love you two.

carcinoGeneticist [CG]’s palmhusk has been destroyed

You can’t help snickering at the thought of Karkat hurling his palmhusk into the ground at top speed. Hopefully, that’ll keep him mostly off your back though. It’s not that you’re actually scared of Eridan’s threat to cull you, but you’d rather not burn the bridge you just learned still existed.

The sound of quiet footsteps makes you look up to see Aphina standing in the doorway. He isn’t wearing his glasses or his headphones, his eyes glowing in the dim light of the living room.

“I’m hungry,” he announces and a quick look at the time informs you that you’ve wasted far too much of it chatting.

“I’ll get lunch ready,” you tell him, floating off of the couch and into the kitchen. He watches you warily before following you and watching as you pull out the sandwiches Eridan had left. You set one on a plate and dig chips from the counter and an apple from the drawer of the fridge. Adding a handful of chips to the plate, you set to searching for a knife to cut the apple.

A sharp turn almost runs you into an open drawer that has knives. One of them lifts itself out of the drawer as is set on the counter by slightly faltering psionic energy.

“Thankth,” you tell Aphina after a minute, slicing the apple and setting the full plate on the table. “Um…do you want juice or something?” you ask him after a minute and he nods.

You pour some into  a cup and put it on the table, putting the knife in the sink. Grabbing yourself a sandwich, you sit in an empty chair at the table and munch as you busy yourself looking through your sylladex.

Oh shit, you’d forgotten about the game console sitting in the back of your cards. You drop the blocky system into your hands and immediately remember why it had been sitting there. The latest version had come out months ago and of course, one of the ports on this one had broken not long after. You’d decided to get the new one and fix this port, planning to sell it off but never actually getting around to fixing it.

Aphina perks up. “Ith that a GrubThation?” he chirps, the most excited you’ve heard him since you arrived.

You pause and blink at him. “Uh…yeah? It’th the old one, though. I’ve been meaning to fix it.”

Aphina quickly finishes his lunch and stands on his chair to get a better look. “Are you gonna?”

“…I mean I can. I should have everything to do it.” You stand to move to the living room and he quickly scrambles off of his chair.

“Can I watch?” He asks with a wide grin.

“Thure,” you tell him, putting his dishes in the sink with a flick of your fingers. He pauses before following you again and climbing onto the couch beside you.

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Move thingth that eathily!” he furrows his eyebrows and glares at one of the controllers on top of the console. It rises into the air, the psi around it shaky.

“It’th jutht experienthe,” you shrug, but that doesn’t seem to help. Thinking for a moment, you find a little stress ball in your sylladex and hand it to him.

“Move it from one hand to the other,” you tell him.

He frowns at you but does so. “That’th tho eathy though!”

“Yeah, but it still wobbles. You can work on just moving that further distances, or you can thee how long you can keep it in the air. If your head thartth hurting at all, thtop. Thionic headacheth thuck.”

He nods firmly and passes the ball from hand to hand as you fix the console, finally dropping the ball on the couch and rubbing at the base of his horns.

“Headache?”

He shakes his head. “My hornth hurt.”

“And that’th enough for today. Thith ith about done anyway. Go get thome juithe and a thnack. Thionicth uthe a ton of energy.”

Aphina pauses and grins at you. “Can I have a cookie?”

You remember what Eridan said, but you don’t think one will hurt. “Jutht one. I don’t need your dad getting mad at me.”

He chirps happily and runs off to the kitchen. By the time you’ve hooked up the console to see if it works, you feel someone tugging on your sleeve. You look over to see Aphina holding out a cookie to you, a juice box in hand. You take it and start up the system, grinning as the last thing you’d played pops up on screen. Luckily, it was a cute fantasy game that Feferi had gotten you, the main character being a little elf.

You quickly make a new file, playing through a tutorial you’re starting to remember. A bit into the game, Aphina catches your attention.

“Can I try?”

After a moment, you hand the controller over and watch as he gets the hang of the controls. He has a bit of trouble fighting the enemies but seems to the having fun fighting the enemies regardless. As he plays, you feel your palmhusk vibrate.

cohesiveAntiquity [CA] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CA: sol

CA: answwer

CA: damnit

CA: sollux

TA: fuck calm down.

TA: you’re a2 bad a2 kk.

TA: what ii2 iit?

CA: i havve to stay later than i thought

CA: cause apparently people don’t seem to understand that callin in means someone has to covver for them

TA: and 2omeone el2e can’t?

CA: twwo evvenin shift people called in and the only person wwho can covver can’t come in until six

CA: because of course this wweek has decided to make my life a livvin hell

CA: wwere sure this univverse is a rewward right?

TA: quiit beiing dramatiic.

TA: diid you need me to do somethiing?

CA: i need you to pick up nikki

CA: ivve already told the school and mrs paint knowws you so there shouldnt be a problem

CA: her after school thing should be done in about an hour

CA: since i still dont trust you wwith my kitchen feel free to order somethin

TA: wiill do.

TA: anythiing el2e?

CA: is fin okay?

TA: yeah.

TA: he had lunch and he2 playiing a game.

CA: a game?

TA: ii had an old con2ole iin my 2ylladex

TA: iit2 2ome wriiggler fanta2y game ff liike2

CA:…

CA: fine

CA: if you havve any trouble wwith the school let me knoww

CA: my breaks almost done

TA: have fun.

CA: fuck you

cohesiveAntiquity [CA] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

You roll your eyes and watch the time until you have to pick Nikki up, showing Fin how to save the game before shutting it down. Eridan had given you a key this morning, and you use that to lock the door behind the two of you before heading to the roof and flying to the school with Aphina in your arms. He had run to his room to put on his glasses and headphones as soon as he learned that you’d be going outside, the latter firmly over his fins.

Mrs. Paint is waiting with Nikola when you arrive and the violet runs to you with a wide grin. “Hi, Mr. Sol!”

The rest of the afternoon passes quickly as you get home and order pizza. The twins spend most of the time taking turns playing the game while eating pizza until they both fall asleep on the couch, leaning against you as you play on your own file.

The door opening makes you look over as Eridan steps inside, his fins drooping with exhaustion.

“You’re late,” you say helpfully, offering a smirk when he snarls at you. He looks over the pizza boxes with a disdainful expression but takes a slice when you nudge him with the half-full box.

“No one has any sense at that place,” he huffs. “I swear, Val would be better off firin at least a couple.” He finishes the slice and gently wakes each of the kids, taking them to their own block and getting them to their coons before starting to pick up the living room. He yelps when you pick him up and set him on the couch.

“Either thit down or go to coon,” you tell him.

“I don’t have a coon,” he retorts, but the venom is taken out of his voice by the yawn that cuts him off. You can already see his eyes trying to close and it isn’t long before his head is on your shoulder as he snores softly.

You sigh, though you’re not quite as irritated as you sound, and shake his shoulder until he starts awake. “Go to bed.”

“You too,” he tells you, but at least he listens or is just too tired to argue. You pause before shutting down the game and letting yourself drift off.

**> Sollux: Be the mysterious girl**

Not this again. You definitely are mysterious, but you’re more than aware of what your name is.

**> Rose: Wake up**

You jolt awake, the sound of crying ripping you from your bed as you race to the room next door. Aleryx is out of his coon, his hands on his face as he sobs from whatever nightmare woke him.

“Aleryx!” you say, kneeling beside him and hugging him tightly. “You’re okay. It was just a nightmare.”

He shakes his head sharply and pulls away, staring at the window beside you. You follow his gaze to the stars he can’t see, but before you can ask his hands tighten on your shirt and he says something that makes your blood run cold.

“Mama, it wasn’t a nightmare. He’s already here,” he whispers, though by the time his words reach you he’s already gone limp as is asleep once again. “He’s here and space is breaking.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm sorry for the cliffhanger in the last chapter, also sorry for the bit of one in this one!  
> For clarity's sake:  
> generalizedConviction is Kankri  
> creativelyAligned is Meulin  
> athleticallyTechno is Mituna  
> advancingGlamour is Porrim
> 
> If anyone would like me to tell you all what everyone's titles are, I'd also be happy to do that!

**>???: View Memo**

Closed Memo was opened by tentacleTherapist [TT]

gallowsCalibrator [GC] was added!

generalizedConviction [GC] was added!

creativelyAligned [CA] was added!

twinArmageddons [TA] was added!

athleticallyTechno [AT] was added!

uranianUmbra [UU] was added!

TT: Is there anyone else we need?

generalizedConviction [GC] began responding to the memo!

GC: Need f9r what exactly?

GC: What is all this a69ut? In case y9u are unaware, there are th9se 9f us with resp9nsibilities that cann9t simply dr9p everything t9 attend to a mem9 9ut 9f n9where. Much less 9ne with n9 clear title t9 clue us int9 what we are needed f9r. H9nestly, this is very inc9nsiderate and I w9uld like t9 6e a6le t9 expect m9re fr9m y9u, Mrs. Lal9nde-Maryam.

athleticallyTechno [AT] began responding to the memo!

AT: 0H MY FUCK1NG G0D5

TT: Oh, yes. I almost forgot.

arachnidsGrip [AG] has been added!

TT: Now I’m sure that you are all wondering why I’ve gathered you here.

GC: I feel as th9ugh my f9rmer statement is 6eing purp9sefully ign9red.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began responding to the memo!

GC: 1M MOR3 CUR1OUS 4BOUT TH3 BOR1NG T1TL3!

gallowsCalibrator [GC] changed memo title to “S33RS 4ND M4G3S 4ND CH3RUBS OH MY”

tentacleTherapist [TT] locked memo changes to ‘Admin Only’ access

GC: >:C

GC: YOUR3 NO FUN

TT: I apologize, Terezi. I am simply a little shaken at the moment.

TT: I will, however, leave the title.

TT: It is quite accurate.

GC: Are my messages n9t g9ing thr9ugh?

uranianUmbra [UU] began responding to the memo!

UU: If I may ask, is something wrong, Rose?

TT: I’m not sure.

UU: Oh?

twinArmageddons [TA] began responding to the memo!

TA: wow thii2 ii2 2ome bull2hiit two wake up two

TT: My apologies, but I’d rather wait until everyone replies instead of playing catch up later. Especially since I’m sure our missing member wouldn’t be satisfied with the suggestion to ‘scroll up’.

GC: USU4LLY SH3 N3V3R M1SS3S 4 CH4NC3 TO CR4SH 4 CH4T.

UU: Is it actUally crashing if she was invited.

TA: 2he could bee the one openiing the damn memo and iit’d 2tiill bee cra2hiing

TT: One moment.

tentacleTherapist [TT] pinged arachnidsGrip [AG]!

arachnidsGrip [AG] began responding to the memo!

AG: Whaaaaaaaat?

AG: I was in the middle of something important, Lalonde so this had 8etter 8e good

GC: CUDDL1NG 1S NOT TH4T 1MPORT4NT

GC: 3SP3C14LLY NOT W1TH TH4T DORK

AG: Ugh!

AG: Shut up, Terezi!

AG: I wasn’t cuddling anyone!

GC: SUR3

GC: >;]

GC: > ;]

GC: >;]

GC: > ;]

TT: Terezi, please. As much as it pains me to say it, we need her here for this.

AG: Gee, thanks.

AG: And here I thought we were all friends now.

TA: pfft

TA: a2 iif

AG: Oh come on!

AG: Do we have to do this every time we talk?

TA: yup

TT: …

GC: 1 TH1NK ROS3 W4S 4BOUT TO G3T TO TH3 PO1NT, MR. 4PPL3B3RRY

TA: oh liike you weren’t 2iidetrackiing u2

TT: As I was saying.

TT: Terezi made a valid observation when she retitled the group. I have something to discuss with the other Seers and I believe that the Mages are close enough in their abilities to weigh in as well.

UU: Um…then why am I here?

AT: Y34H?

AT: DON7 KN0W 1F Y0U F0RG07 8U7 1M 4N H31R

TT: I’m aware. Mituna, you are a Doom player, which also relates.

TT: And Calliope…I’ll get to that in a moment.

TT: First of all, have any of you had any…visions? Or feelings like those in the Game?

GC: What d9 y9u mean?

TT: Like…your powers activating without you using them or feeling different than they normally do? Or if you’re seeing things that relate to the Game?

TA: not really?

TA: the voiice2 wont 2hut up but they don’t feel partiicularly Doomy

AG: None of this rel8s to me so why am I here

TT: I’ll get to that.

TT: Meulin?

creativelyAligned [CA] began responding to the memo!

CA: (= ; I ; =) < I HAVEN’T SEEN ANYTHING SORRY

TT: That’s fine. I just want to be sure.

GC: 1V3 H4D SOM3 SH1TTY DR34MS?

GC: COULD THOS3 B3 R3L4T3ED?

TT: Perhaps, though probably not if they aren’t new.

TT: Try to see if any in particular stand out.

TT: Kankri?

AT: KR4NK1??

AT: W0W H35 N07 3V3N Y3LL1NG 47 M3 4 TH4T

GC: D1D H3 L34V3?

GC: N9. I am here.

TA: ii thiink that miight be the lea2t iive ever seen you type

TT: Is everything alright?

GC: I

GC: I am n9t sure n9w.

GC: My 9wn dreams have g9tten strange. I simply attributed it t9 trauma, 6ut

TT: Did they feel different?

GC: I have m9stly shut 9ut my p9wers, as seeing constantly is tedious, 6ut I have 6een seeing things that reminded me 9f the 6u66les. Especially t9ward the end.

GC: And

TT: What is it?

GC: …

TT: Is it Reylon?

GC: What?

GC: Why would you ask that?

GC: Did you see something?

TT: So I’m right?

GC: If you’re using your powers for this I think that is entirely uncalled for!

TA: oh 2hiit

AT: KR4NK1 Y0UR QU1RK

GC: 9h. I am s9rry t9 have l9st my temper like that.

TT: It’s fine. I only asked because… Aleryx has said some things that make me… worry. Although he is not my biological child, I wonder if he may have some sort of sight, or if it is simply a child’s imagination.

GC: I understand that.

GC: Calli9pe. Has Cadence said anything that y9u find strange?

UU: None that I know of. I’m sorry.

TT: Should we ask the others?

GC: HMM TH1S S33MS 1NT3R3ST1NG

GC: W3 N33D MOR3 3V1D3NC3!

GC: BR1NG 1N MOR3 W1TN3SS3S

AG: WHY AM I HERE?

TT: Vriska. This needs to be discussed, but it does relate. Be patient.

AG: And why should I listen to you?

TT: Because I will message John if I have to.

AG: Ugh.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] was added!

turntechGodhead [TG] was added!

turntechGodhead [TG] began responding to the memo!

TG: woah sup

TG: a closed memo rose?

TG: why we whisperin in here

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began responding to the memo!

CG: I REGRET YOU EVER LEARNING TO TYPE

TG: thanks bae

TT: I feel things will sort themselves out if you take a moment to read the chat up until now.

TG: kk

CG: WOW THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

CG: OBVIOUSLY WE AREN’T FUCKING SEERS OR WHATEVER SO WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HERE.

TT: Scroll up.

CG: I DID, UNLIKE SOME ASSHOLES I CAN FOLLOW DIRECTIONS THANK YOU VERY MUCH

TT: Very well then.

TT: Dave?

TG: all caught up

TG: what did Aleryx say to get you so shook?

TT: In a moment. Have either of you noticed anything from Jessie or Elizah?

TG: i dunno Jessies flashsteppin but i don’t think that’s that weird

TG: and elizah hasnt done anything weird

CG: YEAH. DO YOU THINK OUR POWERS ARE HEREDITARY OR SOME SHIT?

TT: I’m not sure what I think at this point. But keep an eye out, please?

TT: As for what he said…

TT: He woke me up last night with what I assumed was a nightmare

TT: Instead he simply said something about space breaking and fell back asleep

TG: sounds like a nightmare to me

TT:…

TG: lemme guess

TG: seer shit?

GC: I supp9se asking f9r av9idance of vulgar language w9uld be useless at this p9int, c9rrect?

CG: DAMN RIGHT

TT: …I suppose that is the best way of saying it.

AT: 7H3N WHY 7H3 FUCK 4R3 D00M PL4Y3R2 H3R3 BU7 N07 5PAC3

TT: You have a valid point.

AT: H4H4H4H4H4H4HH4H4H4H4H 5UCK 17

gardenGnostic [GG] was added!

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] was added!

advancingGlamour [AG] was added!

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began responding to the chat!

GA: Rose? Is Everything Alright?

TT: Yes. We simply had a question for the Space players.

advancingGlamour [AG] began responding to the chat!

AG: O+h?

gardenGnostic [GG] began responding to the chat!

GG: this looks important!

TT: Perhaps. Have any of you noticed anything strange lately about space? Such as any weakness?

GA: That Is A Rather Odd Question.

TT: I know, but it’s important.

GA: I Haven’t Noticed Anything Myself.

AG: Neither have I, but I do+n’t kno+w really what I’m suppo+sed to+ be lo+o+king fo+r.

GG: um i dunno?

GG: i can keep watch though!

TT: That would be helpful.

TT: It seems all of these leads were dead ends.

GA: I Am Sorry I Could Not Be More Help.

TT: No, it’s fine. I do have one more question.

TT: Now, Vriska, it’s your turn.

AG: Finally!

AG: What is it?

TT: Are you absolutely sure you killed him?

**> Eridan: Wake up**

You are dragged from sleep by your alarm, groaning as the last remains of whatever you were dreaming about skitter away. Your hand searches your nightstand for the alarm and you sigh in relief as it finally goes silence, burying your face in your cool pillow to soak up a few more seconds of sleep before you have to get up for the day. That is, until the smell of something burning hits your nose and you jolt out of bed.

Your mind is racing with possibilities. Did one of the kids light something with their psii? Were they in the kitchen? They both knew not to mess with the stove and they shouldn’t even be up but-

You stumble into the kitchen and stand in dumbfounded shock at Sollux, who is cursing in front of your stove and dropping a burnt pancake into the trash. Beside him is a stack of normal looking ones and on his other side he has his palmhusk propped up with what looks like a recipe on the screen.

He looks over his shoulder at you and you scowl, crossing your arms. “I thought I told you not to mess with my kitchen,” you hiss, realizing that your glare is mostly just you squinting because your glasses are back in your room.

“And I haven’t burned it down yet, have I?” he retorts.

You look pointedly at the trashcan and he flicks you with his psionics.

“I can do something as simple as breakfast,” he insists, the psionics turning from annoying you into pushing you back toward your room. “Go get dressed.”

You trying to protest, but it becomes obvious that he’s not letting you back in the kitchen and you huff before turning on your heel and storming back into your room. A quick shower later, you’re dressed and stepping back into the kitchen.

The smell of something burnt still lingers, but all of the pancakes you can see look fine as Sollux puts them on separate plates. He hands one of them to you, setting butter and syrup on the table with his psionics. You open your mouth to ask one of the dozens of questions you have, but he just nudges you into a chair.

“Eat, I’ll wake them up.”

“Hey!” you protest. “You can’t just come in here and-“

“I have to leave tomorrow,” he cuts you off and you hope none of the mixed emotions in your chest show on your face. Your expression finally settles for cautious being the safest one to show.

“And? Why did that make you feel like makin breakfast?” you question, though you stay in your seat, pulling the kids plates to you to cut their pancakes into smaller pieces. They can mostly do that on their own, but you don’t really feel like dealing with the mess of syrup that inevitably will end up as.

Sollux’s eyes narrow behind his glasses and you can almost watch him searching for the right words. Is he going to tell you he’s not coming back? That he told someone? Your mind races with questions and scenarios and the vague ideas of how to deal with each of them, your fins barely perking to catch his voice when he clears his throat to answer.

“KK won’t quit lothing hith shit about me leaving. I mean I gueth I picked a bad time, but he can’t theem to get that I’m fine,” Sollux says, just a tad too casually. You get the feeling that there’s more to the story, pursing your lips and willing down the part of you that wants to demand he explain himself. To tell him that he can’t just show up after this long and force himself back into your life and then just vanish. But you don’t.

“A bad time?” You simply ask, your suspicions confirmed by the way he freezes.

“…jutht that I dithappeared almotht five yearth to the day after you.”

You know that’s not all there is to it. Does he think you’re stupid? That you’ve lost your touch since you’ve been gone? You want to growl at him.

Instead you ask, “so, are you coming back?”

He pauses. “I have no clue when, but yeah. But before I go…I wanted to do thomething with the kidth.”

You give him a questioning hum, raising an eyebrow without saying a word.

“Hey, you’ve gotten five yearth worth of parental bonding. I’m playing catch up.” He glances around the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck. “And…like I thaid. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“What did you want to do?” You still don’t know if you trust him not to break his promise once he leaves, but…you do want to give him a chance. Maybe you are going soft.

“Well, ith there anything they like to do?”

You think for a moment. “Fin loves the library. And they both like to go to the park?”

“No, like thomewhere they don’t uthually get to go. Like…I dunno, an aquarium or thomething?”

“There… there is an aquarium downtown. I’ve taken them to the zoo, but I don’t think they’ve ever been there.”

He nods, though it almost seems to be him nodding to himself. “Are you off tomorrow?”

You pause and nod slowly. “Yeah? I try to be off whenever the kids are, so I don’t have to hire a babysitter.”

He nods again and offers a barely visible grin for a moment before standing straight again and sweeping out of the room. You huff and roll your eyes, getting up and setting the table with silverware and drinks. You can hear the twins running down the hall, Nikki giggling wildly as she apparently makes it to the bathroom first.

Sollux steps back into the kitchen and you shove him into one of the chairs, replacing your empty plate with his untouched one before checking on the kids. Nikki has a bit of trouble getting her sweater over her hooked horns, chirping at you for help as you unhook the material. You make sure that both of them are wearing their jackets and send them to eat breakfast.

Thankfully, neither of them gets syrup on themselves or the table. You feel a tug at your shirt as you put their dishes in the sink and turn to see Nikki grinning at you and holding a hair tie. With an amused huff, you stand behind the chair she’s in and start braiding her hair. As always, you leave the violet lock hanging in front of one fin, framing her face along with a few other curls. The teachers at their school had thought the color in both of their hair was dye and had even called you to inform you that unnaturally colored hair was against the rules. That had been an…interesting conversation.

As you are braiding Nikki’s hair, you see Fin fumbling with tying his shoes. All of the milestone sites you read that they should be able to learn to around this age, and most of the time they’re fine but it’s still new and sometimes they struggle. You are about to tell Fin to hold on and you’ll help, but Sollux asks before you can.

“Do you want thome help?”

Fin grimaces but nods and lets Sollux tie his shoe. You finish Nikki’s hair, watching while Sollux slowly ties the laces, going over the steps again and asking if Fin wants to try the other one. He bends down and furrows his brow in concentration as he ties the other shoe. When he succeeds, he beams up at Sollux and then you.

“Daddy, I did it!” he declares, and you grin back at him encouragingly. He runs to you and you scoop him up into a hug, though Nikki demands a hug too a moment later. When you set them down, you stand and take Nikki’s bag from its hook as you pull on your coat.

“Come on, Nikki,” you call and she almost crashes into your legs. “You don’t want to be late for school.”

She pouts as she puts on her jacket and backpack.  “When is Fin coming back?”

“He’ll be back on Monday,” you assure her, raising an eyebrow when Sollux pulls on a hoodie from his sylladex. “And where are you going?”

“You thaid there wath a park near here,” he tells you simply.

The four of you step out into the hall and Sollux lingers as you lock the door. You crouch down to give Fin a quick hug and kiss the top of his head. “Be good for Sol, okay?”

He rolls his eyes and nods. “I wath good yethterday!”

“I know but be good today too.”

“Okay,” he sighs, dragging out the word before spinning to look at Sollux. “Let’th go to the park!”

Sollux chuckles and gives you a quick wave as Fin drags him down the hall.

You take Nikki to school and head to work. The café doesn’t have too many customers at the moment, since you’ve just missed the early morning rush and lunch hasn’t hit yet. Delias looks up and grins at you, the Hope charms once again hanging from her ears. Her hair is pulled into a messy bun, a pen tucked behind her ear. You roll your eyes and step into the back to drop off your coat and bag, but she leans against the doorway as her smile turns almost smug.

“What is it?” you ask, admitting to yourself that your voice is harsher than it should be. You tie your apron around your waist and move to the coffee machine to make yourself something that will jolt you awake. Of course, she waits until you’re taking a burning sip to chirp her reply.

“I thought you didn’t talk to the other Gods.”

You choke on the coffee and barely keep from spilling it all over your shirt. Before you even look at her, you grab a handful of napkins and wipe away some of the spewed beverage. When you finally meet her eyes, she looks even more smug and your eyes are wide.

“Excuse me?”

“Well I mean, unless there are a lot more of you on the down low around here, you’re the only Deity I’ve ever met until he showed up. And you never talk about any of them, even by title. So, I put two and two together with the stories and figured you just didn’t talk to them. And then the Alternator comes waltzing in and you look like you’re about to shit yourself so…” she trails off, raising a pierced eyebrow. “Am I wrong?”

“How did you… how did you even know that was him? No one else fuckin noticed.”

She taps one of her earrings. “My families been a part of this stuff for generations. Not that they believe me when I say I work with the Strategist, but hey,” she shrugs. “Can’t win them all. He’s not a patron of mine, but it’s still not hard to spot the other Deities.”

You grimace. Sometimes even you forget that. Though it isn’t as prevalent as you’re told it was in the past, plenty of people still have ‘Patron’s’. They wear charms or symbols of them, pray to them for help in their particular area, and (unfortunately) that belief connects them to whatever power you possess enough that they can more easily spot their patron. You’re the Strategist, the God of Strategy, both battle and otherwise, and although Delias isn’t as devout as some that’s still the reason she was so easily able to recognize you in the first place.

“Okay, fine. But that still doesn’t explain why you’re askin about somethin that’s very clearly none a your business?” you say quickly, downing your coffee and digging for your notepad while hoping a customer comes in so you can get out of this conversation.

“Because you went from looking terrified to walking out the door with him and I’m curious,” she grins, leaning against the counter.

You sigh. “He’s just an old… friend. I haven’t seen him in a long time and it caught me off guard. That’s all there is to it.”

She pouts a little. “Aw, that’s no fun.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not here to be entertaining.” You roll your eyes and she playfully hits your arm with a stack of napkins she’s holding as she’s refilling a container.

“You could try to be,” she half-whines. “This morning has been so slow.”

“Just wait. You know when the lunch rush gets here you’ll be complainin about how crazy it is.”

“And so will you.”

The lunch rush comes in, just like you said it would, and at least by that point Delias has decided that you were telling the truth about Sollux. You take your break soon after it’s over, checking your palmhusk to find a message.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling cohesiveAntiquity [CA]

TA: hey ED what tiime do you get off?

TA: here you go.

TA: 2iince your dumb a22 doe2nt have a 2nap.

twinArmageddons [TA] has uploaded a video to the chat!

You open the file before responding to any of the messages and find a video of Fin making it all the way across the monkey bars by himself before smiling at the camera. You hear him ask, “Did you get it?” even though his voice is muffled by the phones microphone. A smile reaches your face and you save the video, only to see that more messages have rolled in.

TA: waiit.

TA: do you have a 2napchat?

TA: ii kiinda a22umed you diidnt but do you?

CA: no sol

CA: i dont havve a snapchat

CA: i dont really need one

TA: aw.

TA: how el2e am ii 2uppo2ed two 2end you 2elfiie2 of me wiith a dog face at three iin the morniing?

CA: heres an idea

CA: dont

TA: watch me

CA: if you wwake me up wwith that shit i wwill actually throww your palmhusk out a wwindoww

TA: boo.

TA: fun kiiller.

TA: al2o an2wer the fiir2t que2tiion.

You have to scroll up to remind yourself of what the first question was.

CA: four thirty

CA: wwhy

TA: cool

CA: wwait answwer me

CA: wwhy

TA: bye ED

CA: wwait no

CA: sol wwtf

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling cohesiveAntiquity [CA]

CA: i hate you

You close the chat and run your hands through your hair for the last of your break, heading back out to finish your shift.

About five minutes before you were set to leave, you hear the bell at the door ring as it opens and look up. Your greeting dies in your throat as you see Sollux come through the door, Fin at his side.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

Sollux tuts at you, wagging a finger. “Ith that any way to talk to a cuthtomer, ED? Shame.”

You give him a halfhearted snarl. “Oh, hush. I get off in,” you check the clock, “three minutes anyway. Now answer my question.”

He shrugs. “I jutht thought we could walk with you to pick Nikki up.”

Fin nods vigorously and you sigh but smile at the both of them and head to the back to clock out. Delias is sitting at the counter, drinking a milkshake as she waits for a friend to pick her up. As you leave, she pointedly looks at Sollux before waggling her eyebrows and winking at you.

You just as pointedly ignore her and walk outside. As soon as you’re walking down the sidewalk, Fin holds something out to you. When you hold out your hand, he drops a rock into it. You hold it up to the light, letting the sun glint off of the bits of crystal that seem to shift colors based on the angle and understanding why he picked it up. You gush over how pretty it is and thank him for showing it to you before he takes it back and puts it in his pocket.

Sollux leans over and tells you something under his breath. “He’th been wanting to show you that thithe thith morning.” Your hand brushes his and when he takes yours you let him, taking Fins hand with your other while your brain conveniently reminds you that Sollux is leaving tomorrow.

Nikki practically sprints to you when you pick her up, babbling about her day. She and Fin run off to their room as soon as you’re home and you can hear her excitement when he shows her the rock, as well as a very serious conversation about where they should put it.

Sollux hangs around you as you cook dinner, glancing at his phone with a frown as he scrolls through something. You mostly try to ignore it, just focusing on cooking, but when he finally says something, he manages to catch you off guard.

“You really should get a thnapchat.”

You raise an eyebrow at him as  you turn the stove off and let the food cool down enough to eat.

“Why?”

He shrugs. “It’th fun? I wathn’t kidding about three a.m. thelfieth.”

You roll your eyes and turn back to start making the plates. “I ain’t really a selfie person.”

A snort makes you look at him. “Bullshit.”

“What?”

“There’th no way you can convinthe me that you aren’t the kind of troll to take thelfieth. That jutht… nope. No way.”

You give him a look that you will adamantly deny is a pout. “Fine. I’m not a ‘sending selfies to people’ kind of person. I wouldn’t think that you were either.”

“Eh. Not really. I mothtly uthe it to thend FF and AA proof that I’m alive if they’re gone for a while.”

You hand him a plate and watch him snap a picture of the food.

“Like that. Becauthe apparently I can’t jutht be truthted to eat like a functional adult.”

You can’t help a laugh at that, setting the other plates on the table and calling the kids for dinner. It occurs to you as you lean against the counter with your food that you should probably get another chair, though your mind is quick to remind you that he’s leaving tomorrow anyway.

Nikki asks in an excited voice if they can play the game again as soon as she’s done eating, assuring you that she doesn’t have any homework before you tell her yes. Aphina hurries to finish his dinner and follow her, with you and Sollux joining them soon after. You sit on opposite ends of the couch and watch Nikki and Fin play for a bit, until they seem to get bored and you suggest putting in a movie to watch before they go to sleep.

The movie is a colorful animated film they both love, one you’ve seen a thousand times. Once the opening title pops up on screen, Nikki looks at Sollux with a wide smile.

“Have you ever seen it?” she asks, pointing at the screen.

“I don’t think tho,” he admits, earning shocked looks from both children, who demand that he pay attention to it before letting the movie have their attention again.

You probably know most of the film by heart by now, a small part of you sighing at the knowledge that the songs were going to be stuck in your head for the next few days. Nikki bothers Fin until he sings along with her as you hum the familiar tunes under your breath.

Once the movies over and you’ve put them to bed, you sit back down on the couch as Sollux looks through your discs.

“Thethe aren’t really what I expected,” he mutters, and you roll your eyes.

“Those aren’t the only ones I’ve got,” you tell him. “Those are the kids movies. There’s some other ones in the cabinet over there.” You gesture to it and watch him walk over to start rifling through those titles.

“ED, your tathte in movieth thuckth,” he declares, finally pulling out some sci-fi flick you haven’t watched in ages.

“Well, bring some of your own next time, if mine are so bad,” you huff at him as he starts the movie and plops back down on the couch, considerably closer to you than before.

There are so many questions that you want to ask. About him, about everyone.

Instead, you pull your knees to your chest and ignore him in favor of watching the admittedly shitty movie. Now you remember why you haven’t watched it in so long.

You pick the next movie, a fantasy that’s a little long but at least interesting. Sollux falls asleep towards the end, and you at least drape a blanket over him before heading to your block to sleep.

Your sleep is blissfully dreamless, though it only feels like your eyes have been closed for a few moments before you’re dragged from sleep by your alarm. You squint at your palmhusk, sitting up and turning off the alarm as you try to remember why you’d set it in the first place.

When you shuffle into the living room, you see Sollux messing around on his phone and are instantly reminded that he’s leaving today. Instead of joining him on the couch, you walk straight to the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of the coffee that’s already waiting for you. It’s already a bit later than you wake up the rest of the week, so by the time you’re done with breakfast, it should be about time to wake the kids.

You aren’t sure what time Sollux is wanting to do his little aquarium trip, or even if he has a plan at all, but you’re going to assume that he wants to go around opening so that he can have time to get back.

The sound of someone stepping into the kitchen makes you look up to see Sollux crossing the kitchen towards you. Even though he’s apparently had time to make coffee, he looks like he’s barely awake.

You can almost see the dull pulsing of the light of his eyes as he reaches around you to refill his mug. He yawns, not even trying to cover his mouth and instead showing off his stupidly crooked fangs.

“Did you even sleep?” you ask, your tone somewhere between mocking and actual concern.

Apparently, it was more mocking because Sollux levels a glare at you and half-hisses. “Fuck off, Ampora.”

You roll your eyes and sip at your coffee. “So, do you still want to go to the aquarium or…”

He slumps into a chair and drinks all of his coffee in a few gulps. “Yeah, jutht let me wake up firtht.” You can almost see the caffeine kicking in as you cook breakfast, a dash of sparks running up his horns as his eyes brighten.

As you set the table, Nikola and Aphina arrive in the kitchen, evidently drawn from sleep by the smell of food. Sollux gets up and perches on the counter with his food, his psionics practically forcing you into the now empty chair to eat. You shoot a quick scowl at him and eat quickly, gathering the dishes and telling the kids to go get dressed.

Nikki tilts her head. “Are we going somewhere?”

“It’s a surprise,” you tell her, ruffling her hair before starting to wash the dishes. She grins and dashes off to get ready.

Before long, you’re helping them into their coats and shoving one of your hoodies at Sollux so he’s not wearing the same one as the past few days. The aquarium is a short flight away, though finding somewhere to land without drawing attention isn’t easy.

As soon as they see the building you’re walking to, both of the kids try to run inside. You manage to keep ahold of them, reminding them that you still need to get your tickets as they bounce excitedly. Even Fin, the more reserved of the two, is loudly speculating about what he’s going to see.

“I wanna thee a shark!” he tells Nikki, who nods vigorously.

“I want to see a jellyfish!” She tugs on your hand. “Hurry up, Dad! Do you think they have seals?”

“We’ll just have to wait and see,” you tell her, realizing that Sollux is no longer with you. You search the surprisingly crowded area for a familiar set of horns, but when you do find him you can’t help but feel conflicted as he holds up four wristbands.

You firmly remind Nikki and Fin to stay with you and Sollux as you put their wristbands on, getting yours on as well before you all finally head inside.

The entrance hall has schools of model fish hanging from the ceiling, murals painted along the walls that lead you to a hallway that’s entrance is shaped like a massive set of shark jaws. An attendant checks your wristbands before letting you through and you’re immediately greeting with a wide cylinder of a tank that stops several feet above your head and seems to extend to the lower levels. Dozens of kinds of colorful fish circle around the artificial reef at the center, catching the light streaming in from the large skylights. Tanks line the walls of the path and you take plenty of pictures of both the animals and of the children watching them in awe.

You snap one in the jellyfish hall of Nikki just barely not pressing her face to the glass as the trailing stingers of a jellyfish drift through the water, and of the sea turtle that seemed to follow Fin back and forth across the wide glass that almost took up an entire wall. You manage to catch the show of a diver feeding the sharks on video, as well as the moment when both Nikki and Fin waved wildly at them and they waved back.

Nikki insists that both you and Sollux participate at the touch tanks and you run a light finger over the bumpy top of a starfish while Sollux tries to touch a ray and only succeeds in getting water on his hoodie (your hoodie).

As it turns out,  they do have seals, and a sign on the glass says that there will be a show in an hour, so you make a note to come back. Fin drags you over to the penguin enclosure, grinning as you take a picture of him in front of the birds. When you come across the smaller tanks, a group of seahorse clinging to the plants of one makes you pause.

Your chest aches looking at them, remembering swimming with your lusus. A hand on your shoulder makes you jump, and you look back to see Sollux. He doesn’t say a thing, but you know he knows. Somehow, the sympathetic look helps, and you join the kids in looking at the octopus a few tanks over.

The four of you head to the concession area for something to eat until it’s time to go back. Aphina and Nikola are both eager to see the seal and sea lion show and you get back just as it’s starting. Nikki manages to get a spot right at the front, with Sollux and Aphina right behind her and you hanging back.

While Nikki isn’t bothered by the crowd, you can see Aphina shift uncomfortably as people step up to watch. Before you can try to help, Sollux notices as well and picks Aphina up, settling him on his shoulders to watch from above the crowd. You make sure to snap a picture of that as well.

You can tell they’re starting to get tired after the show, though they’re reluctant to leave. The flight back is quiet, though you can feel a knot forming in your stomach as you land back at home. Sollux sets Nikki down, glancing at you.

“I gueth I should go ahead and head out,” he says almost awkwardly, this statement immediately making Aphina scramble to get down.

“You’re leaving!?” he cries, frowning.

“Jutht for a bit,” Sollux tells him and Nikola, who looks equally upset. “I promithe I’ll be back.”

“But why?” Nikki demands, stomping her foot.

You step in, crouching down to talk to them. “Sol has to go back to his hive. He’s got friends who are worried about him.”

Aphina looks at you. “Are they your friends too?”

You shake your head before Sollux can say anything. “No, but they just want to make sure he’s okay. He’ll come back.”

Nikola is sniffling, but she nods and hugs Sollux’s legs tightly.

“Promise you’ll come back?”

“I promithe,” he assures her, giving both of them a hug before hesitating in front of you. You’re about to tell him goodbye when he does finally pull you into a quick embrace. He’s gone before you  can say anything, a cloud of sparks carrying him to the horizon as you tear your eyes away and head inside. Nikki and Fin are still upset, but they go to take a nap without much fuss.

You stand in the living room for a moment before starting to clean up, trying to ignore the void in your chest that you thought you’d managed to leave behind two and a half sweeps ago.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I'm sorry this took so long!  
> Quick question  
> This story is going to be split into three quite long acts  
> would you prefer those acts to be in a single story or in separate stories within the series?

**> Eridan: Wake up**

You jolt awake for the second time in as many days, a painfully raw feeling blossoming behind your ribs. A wheezing noise is the only sound you can make as you suck in a breath, your hands pressing to your chest in an effort to assure yourself that you’re still whole. The aching thump of your blood pusher is just as strong in your hands as it is in your chest. The beat of it rings in your ears, making you uncomfortably aware of your own pulse.

Frustration builds heat behind your eyes as you squeeze them shut and try to shake away the last of the dream. As if you could shatter your own thoughts against the inside of your skull and rid yourself of the nausea that comes with the feeling of someone opening your ribs and scooping out something important.

The feeling isn’t quite pain, but the emptiness might as well be. You tell yourself you’re used to being alone, that you aren’t alone, but a sneering voice whispers back that you’ve always been this empty.

You tried to fill it with Vriska and she dropped you.

You tried to fill it with friends that you hadn’t let in enough to make a difference.

You tried to fill it with Feferi and you killed her.

The last thought makes you wince still, a thousand apologies that won’t change a thing rising and falling like they always do.

There’s the sneering voice again, reminding you of the one time you’d felt whole. The ache in your chest flares up again, a painful reminder of what having a part of you ripped away felt like.

You press your face into the cool softness of your pillow and shake your head again.

Emptiness that you thought you’d long forgotten etches itself a little deeper into you.

You don’t miss him.

**> Eridan: Be Sollux**

Days in the past, more than a few.

You think that you’re going to die. At the very least, you’ll find out if Gods can suffocate if Feferi doesn’t let go of you.

You’d flown straight back, a few days of eating regularly helping slightly as you stop to catch your breath over the hive you called home. You have a vague thought about keeping up the trend that even you can admit is bullshit before touching down and open the door.

When you open the door, you can hear a conversation cut sharply off as two faces appear at the end of the hall. Feferi’s eyes go wide, her hair pulled back into a ponytail and her fins flaring. She’s wearing a crop top and high waisted shorts, while Aradia is in leggings and a long sweater. Her recently short hair falls just far enough to frame her surprised expression, red lips parted into a perfect ‘o’ for just a moment before both of them come flying down the hallway.

You barely have time to close the door behind yourself  before Feferi’s arms wrap tightly around your neck and you’re slammed into the door.

“Fucking ow, FF,” you grumble half heartedly.

“Shut up!” she chirps, but let’s go after another moment, only to punch you in the arm. Hard. “Where the glub were you?”

“I-“ you pause. You’d promised not to give Eridan away and although you didn’t understand it, he had seemed genuinely stressed enough about the idea to make your stomach twist. “I was out of town.”

“No shit!” she exclaims, throwing her hands in the air and looking very much like she wants to hit you again. “You disappeared for almost a week! You can’t just come back like nothing happened!”

Aradia, who has been hanging back in the meantime, is frowning at you and you feel guilt pinching at your chest. “We were all worried about you,” she finally says.

“That’s a fucking understatement,” Feferi huffs, her voice edging toward a growl. Wow she’s really mad.

“I’m thorry,” you finally manage, swallowing hard at the way her expression softens just a little. “I wath fine. I ate and everything. Look, I…uh-“

“So, what, you just rented a room for a week?”

“Not…exactly. FF…AA, jutht let me-“

“Then where were you? You don’t look like you’ve spent a week outside,” she demands in a voice you’re more than used to. It’s a voice that won’t take any shit.

You swallow hard. “I…made a friend,” you lie, your fingers tapping against your leg.

There’s a quiet moment before she raises an eyebrow. “You made a friend.”

Aradia had the same expression, making you roll your eyes.

“I can make friendth,” you argue, but you know they know you better than that. You don’t really know what you’re going to do.

“Not that I’m doubting your ability to make friends,” Aradia says slowly, the wings she never puts away fluttering.  “But how did you manage to meet someone that quickly?”

“I… met them in a café,” you say carefully, staying just close enough to the truth. “I probably looked like shit so I can’t really blame them.”

Feferi still keeps her frown up, but she looked more concerned than angry now…almost confused. “And you stayed with them? Who were they?”

You suck in a breath through your fangs. “Yeah, they offered a place to crash for a couple days. It…helped me clear my head.”

“But who were they?”

“They,” you pause. “They aren’t all that comfortable with a lot of deities knowing their location. I mean, would you want a bunch of immortal beingth thuddenly knowing who you were.” You can see Feferi’s expression softening a little with understanding, diving in on that. “I’m not a grub, FF. I know you’re worried, but I’m fine.” You grab a hand from both her and Aradia, taking a deep breath and trying to look convincing.

“You can’t just disappear on us again,” Aradia finally says, though the look she gives you says that this isn’t over. You see her tapping at her palmhusk before looking back at you, her deep maroon eyes freezing you in place. You feel like she’s looking right through you, into everything you’re trying not to tell them, although you’re not quite sure who it is, you’re really trying for.

“I won’t,” you promise, grimacing a little. “I can’t thay I won’t like, thpend thome time on my own, but I’ll give you guyth a little more warning next time. Okay?”

Feferi gives you a small nod, though she still seen apprehensive. When you look at Aradia, she’s looking at her palmhusk again, then at the door.

“AA? What are you-“ You cut off when you hear a loud knock. “You didn’t.”

You’d pray to whatever deities existed if you weren’t one of them, so you just hope against hope that you’re wrong but-

“CAPTOR! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE, YOU MAGGOT RIDDEN PILE OF SLIME.”

The deep breath you force yourself to take doesn’t help, but you’re not doing anything but delaying the inevitable and increasing the likelihood of having to replace a door. When you do open the door, you have to stop Karkat’s fist with a fast-acting bit of psionics as he goes to knock again.

“Watch it,” you huff.

“Watch it?” he hisses, and you grimace as you watch him gearing up for a rant. “I worry my globes off about you for a week and the first thing you say is ‘watch it?’ How about, oh I don’t know ‘I’m sorry for making you waste the juices of your think pan fretting over whether or not my bony ass was burning himself out _again_?’ Or how about even bothering to let me know you were back at all?  But no, I had to hear from Aradia that you had decided to grace us with your presence again without so much as a ‘Hey, KK. I’m back!’” When he finally stops for a breath, you cut in.

“Hey, KK,” you say. He pauses in the middle of refilling his breath sacs for another round of berating you. “I’m back.”

The look he gives you is absolutely murderous, but you just grin like the asshole you are and hope he’ll forget about questioning you in his anger.

“I fucking hate you,” he growls. “I shouldn’t have even bothered worrying about you. You know what, next time don’t even bother! Just sit wherever the fuck you were and fondle your shameglobes until this planet explodes like the last one we were on!” He examines you for a moment and you sigh internally at his somewhat calmer voice. “Where were you anyway?”

“It’th not important,” you try, though you know it’s not going to work. Damnit, why do your friends have to care about you?

“Yeah, that’s not going to fly, you sentient pipe cleaner,” he snaps, backing up to let you step outside. “Where _were_ you?”

“I’m theriouth. I thtayed with thomeone. It’th not important becauthe I’m fine.” You just wish they would stop.

“No! You don’t get to just brush me off! Maybe Feferi or Aradia will accept that shit, but I have been the leader of this fucking team since before you even thought about immortality. I can’t have people just fucking off to wherever they want!”

“Yeah?” you snap, narrowing your eyes at him. “And that’th turned out tho well hathn’t it? Motht of uth barely talk to each other ath it ith.”

He flinches a little, but his glare doesn’t dampen at all. “All the more reason to keep an eye on you chucklefuckers!”

“I don’t need you to keep an eye on me!” you protest.

“Says the guy who disappeared for a week! Just the absolute model of stability! You do need someone looking out for you, or you do shit like this!”

“Shit like what? Take thome time to mythelf? Yeah, maybe I should have warned you guyth, but I wath fine! I’m allowed to want one fucking thecond without all of you breathing down my neck! I don’t need to athk for permithion!”

“After all the effort I’ve put in to keeping your ass alive-“

“I didn’t athk you to! If it’th thuch a fucking _burden_ , then why don’t you jutht fuck off. You’re not my morail. None of you are!”

Karkat steps back, his shoulders shaking for a moment as he breathes. You grit your fangs and force yourself to breathe, wishing you could just hide in your block for a while. You knew they were worried, but you don’t have the energy for this.

“I-“

“I’m thorry,” you cut him off, rubbing your temples. “I get that you’re worried, KK. And I’m thorry I didn’t give you any warning, but jutht…trutht that I’m fine. Okay?”

Karkat is silent for another moment before he sighs heavily. “I fucking guess, but you own me for this bullshit.”

You snort, messing up his already messy hair and nearly getting your fingers stuck in it in the process. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

He pauses and you know what’s coming next, part of you sighing but most of you leaning into the familiarity of it. “We’re still friends, right?”

“You athk that everytime,” you groan, but you hook your arm around his neck. “Tho, what did I mith?  How are EZ and JS?”

“I still absolutely hate that you call my children that, but whatever,” Karkat huffs, though he doesn’t move. “Jessie started flash stepping and _will not stop_ , even though Dave’s trying to not do it at all-“

As he launches into an affectionate rant about his kids, you find yourself checking out a little bit.

He pulls you inside as he talks, and you see Feferi and Aradia looking a little calmer in the rumpus block…along with the tree in the corner. A human tradition for twelfth perigees, though one you still don’t quite get.

You can’t help but think about the presents that already sit beneath it, though the holiday isn’t for two weeks. The shiny paper glitters in the tiny lights strung around the plant, a brief thought reminding you that you have new people to buy presents for.

With any luck, you’ll be back before the holiday.

**> Sollux: Be someone else**

A young troll curls up in the shade provided by the roof of the slide, his headphones managing to block out the shrieks of the people his teachers keep trying to get him to socialize with. They all seem so intent on him having friends, but so far none of them wanted to join him in reading in the slide. He blinks slowly, the soft glow of his eyes enough to read by.

**> Aphina: Look for your sister**

First of all, your name is Fin, thank you very much. The only people who call you Aphina were your teacher and your dad when you were in trouble. Second of all, you have no intention of getting out of this slide until it’s time to go back inside.

Nikki can take care of herself.

You turn the page of the book you’re technically not supposed to bring outside, running your fingers over the glossy pages and their pictures. Fish swim across the page, some you recognize from the aquarium and most with names you can sort of pronounce. You can’t quite read every word, but once you’re home you know that your dad will explain them to you.

Your foot taps against the slide, your hands pulling a wire puzzle from your pocket. It gives you something to do, to fidget with while you’re doing other things. Your dad had gotten you a bunch of things when he realized how much they helped you focus, but this was the only one small enough that the teacher won’t notice it.

Keeping your hands busy also gives you the opportunity to practice using your psionics, something you think you’re getting better at. There’s a weird crackle as your power interacts with the static between your swearer and the plastic walls of the slide, red and blue sparks flickering as the page in front of you turns.

Part of the reason you’re even in the slide right now is to hide the sparks from your teacher. You got suspended last time you used them, although to be fair you were absolutely meaning to knock that kid off of the jungle gym. Still, better safe than sorry, so in the slide you will remain. Well, there’s also-

“Move, Ampora!” You barely have time to react as a pair of sneakers slam firmly into your back and send you tumbling out of the mouth of the slide. You can feel the sharp ends of mulch pieces digging into your hands and face, the taste of dirt making you face screw up in disgust as you push yourself to your feet. Your book rests about a foot away, the pages facing the mulch and probably getting scrapes across the gloss.

The same sneakers that had just kicked you from your hiding place- you mean your reading place, seem to make an effort to step down hard on the cover as the kid runs away.

“You okay, Fin?” you hear as you pick yourself up, looking up to see your sister scooping the book off of the ground. She brushes the mulch off of it and holds it out to you. You take it and check it for damage, though luckily it seems okay.

A giggle makes you look up, raising an eyebrow at your sister. “What?”

“You’ve got mulch all over you,” she tells you, helping you get the wooden chips off of your favorite hoodie. You’re getting more tired with each passing moment, especially as another classmate jumps out of the slide, yelling something at their playmates.

Even with your headphones, the sound makes your fins twitch, the sounds layering over each other to press down on your head. You just want to climb back in the slide, but it doesn’t have the same feeling of safety anymore.

“Were you hanging out in the slide again?” Nikki asks, a smile bright on her face. Your silence gives her an answer, making her roll her eyes and put her hands on her hips. “You should come play on the monkey bars with us!”

“Uth?” You start to question, but you’re cut off by a pair of voices from behind you.

“Yeah!”

“Come play with us!”

You turn around, your headache growing worse when you see the two trolls that are perched on top of the slide. Their faces are half hidden by masks from art class ages ago, as they always seemed to be.

Oh no. Not them.

You sigh heavily, looking at your sister. She just grins at them, friendly as always. It wasn’t that the twins were bad or anything, they just struck you as… odd. They flip to the ground without missing a beat, always moving in perfect sync. They never even seem to care if the other gets hurt, just getting up and continuing to act as if the playground is their own personal circus.

Nikki’s giving you a hopeful look, but you just clutch your book to your chest and shake your head a little. Her face falls, but she’s quickly distracted by the twins again as they dash toward the monkey bars.

Looking back at the slide, you sigh and crawl under it instead, the ground cold from being constantly in the shade, but at least you don’t have to worry about being kicked in the back here. You have just enough space to open the book, your eyes brightening as you look over the seahorses dashing across the new page.

They had been your favorite part of the aquarium, aside from maybe when Sollux had let you sit on his shoulders to watch the seals. You examine a photo of a white seahorse, remembering how your dad had looked at their tank. He’d looked…almost sad.

He looked like that sometimes, mostly when he thought you weren’t looking.

You’re pulled from your thoughts by something you should have expected to hear but are somehow surprised by. “Nikola! Barzum! Baizli!”

You frown and poke your head out from under the slide, seeing your sister and the twins on top of the monkey bars. Nikki gives a visible sigh and moves to climb down. You freeze, a scream stuck in your throat as her foot slips. She tumbles between the bars, out of range for you to try and help, though you’re scrambling from your new quiet place.

“Nikki!” You finally manage, but before you can do anything more than stand, a cloud of sparks surrounds her.

She looks just as surprised as everyone else, the psionics dissipating after she’s safely on the ground. The teacher, however, is appropriately worried, taking her too the nurses office, though Nikki is wearing a huge smile all the while.

Of course, after it’s been verified that your sister is not secretly injured, she goes right back to being in trouble, which means waiting with the teacher for your dad to pick the two of you up.

And if she had to wait with the teacher, you had to wait with the teacher.

At the very least, the teacher has her hands full trying to keep Nikki and the twins in one place, which keeps her from saying anything to you. The twin’s older brother, Karako, sits next to you and doodles something in a thick sketchbook. He’s in second grade, but he’s been nice to you every time that you’ve met, even though he doesn’t talk. He’s content to nudge you and show you the fish he’s doodling, based on the book you’re showing him every so often of course.

You can tell when his mother gets here without actually seeing her, because Karako jumps up with a honking noise and the twins immediately decide to behave.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Ursama-“ the teacher begins, but you’re tuning out because you can see your father approaching.

He looks the same kind of tired he’s been since Sollux left, but when he meets your eyes he smiles. You wonder if he knows you can see through that.

You can see through it the entire time he’s talking to the teacher, the entire time he’s switching between scolding Nikki for climbing on the monkey bars and congratulating her newfound psionic improvement.

You can see it, but you know he doesn’t want you to, so you decide not to mention it.

**> Fin: Be Eridan**

You are now Eridan Ampora and you’re absolutely exhausted. It’s the kids first week back from Twelfth Perigees vacation, and Nikki has already managed to get written up for misuse of playground equipment.

Well, that’s not entirely it.

You sigh a little to yourself as you land on the roof of your apartment building, noticing how quiet the kids are.

In the first few weeks after he left, they had asked almost daily when he was coming back. You didn’t know how to answer, staring at his chat handle and cursing yourself for every message you typed and deleted.

Slowly, as the next month passed, the questions grew less frequent, until they stopped asking if he was coming back at all.

You…

You’ve stopped asking yourself when he’s coming back, or at least you’ve tried to.

You set the kids down before walking down the stairs, looking down to pull your keys out.

A squeal makes you jump, especially as both Nikki and Fin suddenly race forward. Your call to them dies in your throat as you see who they’re running towards.

Sollux is sitting in front of your door, giving you a sheepish smile as you freeze. Your keys almost fall entirely from your hand, your mouth handing just a little open in disbelief as you search his expression for anything to explain why _now_?

He watches you for a long moment before offering a small, more apologetic smile.

“Thorry I’m late.”


End file.
